Dr. Julie Gottman

That C anemone is not going to stretch out its fingers.

It's going to hide.

Thank you.

You can absolutely date.

change these behaviors and reverse the direction of the relationship from doom to ascent, moving up.

They predicted a relationship demise.

The first one was criticism.

Secondly is contempt.

And contempt is worse.

It is the worst of the Four Horsemen.

One of my favourite questions is...

Well, there's several principles, right?

One of them is be honest, be straightforward, try to be kind, be compassionate, be empathetic, and be a really good listener.

Yeah.

Oftentimes, we're having just these quick little interactions.

And, you know, the smallest thing, for example, if John is in another room and I'd love his help in setting the table or something, I can say, hey, John, you know, would you mind setting the table?

If he says yes...

That makes me feel really good because I've expressed a need and he's responded in an affirmative way that means he wants to be helpful.

Why does he want to be helpful?

Because he cares about me, which is really nice.