Dr. Julie Gottman
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
They are working as managers.
They are working with bosses.
They are required to problem solve also.
Thus, they've gotten into the habit of, you got a problem?
I'll solve it.
And they do it too.
However, most people really don't want solutions to their problems unless they specifically ask for it.
That's when you can give a solution.
What do you think I ought to do?
That's the question.
But if they don't,
and they just express their emotion about it, what they're really looking for is empathy and validation.
Validation meaning, boy, it makes sense to me that you would feel that way.
I get it.
That helps the other person feel less alone, and that's very powerful.
Yeah.
You know, a simple way of saying that is, do you want to tell me more?
Period.
That's it.
Or if you sense that they want to talk about it, you can say, well, help me understand that.