Dr. Julie Gottman
👤 SpeakerVoice Profile Active
This person's voice can be automatically recognized across podcast episodes using AI voice matching.
Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
It's not about the partner or their character.
It's about the situation itself.
And then step three, I've expressed a positive need, not a negative one.
Here's the difference.
A positive need tells the partner how they can shine for you.
Right.
You're telling them what they can do to make you feel good.
Mm-hmm.
Well, what partner doesn't want to hear that?
I mean, that's great.
It gives the partner a roadmap for how to be closer to you and how to make you happy.
And, of course, that makes them happy too in most cases.
So, again, step one, describe your feeling.
It has to be an emotion.
It can't be something like, I feel like you are an idiot.
So, I feel upset about what?
Not about who, but about what.
What's the situation?
I'm worried that the bills haven't been paid on time.
I'm upset that the kids weren't picked up on time.