Dr. Julie Smith

For it not to be perfect at the beginning. So, you know, I've been with my husband for like 20 years and we don't argue in the same way that we did when we first got together.

You learn to... Yeah, your relationship evolves and as long as you're always... doing your best to try and improve on yourself and how what you bring to the relationship and making adjustments when things don't work well um then what you have is this amazing flourishing strengthening thing over time um whereas i think you know if you if you

You learn to... Yeah, your relationship evolves and as long as you're always... doing your best to try and improve on yourself and how what you bring to the relationship and making adjustments when things don't work well um then what you have is this amazing flourishing strengthening thing over time um whereas i think you know if you if you

You learn to... Yeah, your relationship evolves and as long as you're always... doing your best to try and improve on yourself and how what you bring to the relationship and making adjustments when things don't work well um then what you have is this amazing flourishing strengthening thing over time um whereas i think you know if you if you

base your choice about whether you continue a relationship on um you know how you're arguing right now as if that's the only way it can ever happen then you might end a relationship that could have improved or got better so it's all about sort of learning from each experience isn't it and then trying to you know do better if you feel like you've not really bought your best getting onto the individual what's your advice to people that have got a critical inner voice

base your choice about whether you continue a relationship on um you know how you're arguing right now as if that's the only way it can ever happen then you might end a relationship that could have improved or got better so it's all about sort of learning from each experience isn't it and then trying to you know do better if you feel like you've not really bought your best getting onto the individual what's your advice to people that have got a critical inner voice

base your choice about whether you continue a relationship on um you know how you're arguing right now as if that's the only way it can ever happen then you might end a relationship that could have improved or got better so it's all about sort of learning from each experience isn't it and then trying to you know do better if you feel like you've not really bought your best getting onto the individual what's your advice to people that have got a critical inner voice

Do you know what? In my years of sort of doing therapy with people, I've come across so many people who are highly self-critical, painfully so, and yet hold onto it for dear life because they think that that's their source of drive and motivation and productivity and achievement.

Do you know what? In my years of sort of doing therapy with people, I've come across so many people who are highly self-critical, painfully so, and yet hold onto it for dear life because they think that that's their source of drive and motivation and productivity and achievement.

Do you know what? In my years of sort of doing therapy with people, I've come across so many people who are highly self-critical, painfully so, and yet hold onto it for dear life because they think that that's their source of drive and motivation and productivity and achievement.

And so they'll defend it like it's doing something for them until they learn that actually it's probably doing damage or it's holding them back. Because often they'll come with some other problem and won't necessarily recognize that it's being perpetuated by

And so they'll defend it like it's doing something for them until they learn that actually it's probably doing damage or it's holding them back. Because often they'll come with some other problem and won't necessarily recognize that it's being perpetuated by

And so they'll defend it like it's doing something for them until they learn that actually it's probably doing damage or it's holding them back. Because often they'll come with some other problem and won't necessarily recognize that it's being perpetuated by

that that tendency to um not only be self-critical but just you know psychologically hammering yourself into the ground when things go wrong or when you're not perfect and that sort of thing um but i always like talking to people about the idea of okay we all want to do well in life right we want to you know be at our best and but if you take that idea and you take i don't know elite athletes um

that that tendency to um not only be self-critical but just you know psychologically hammering yourself into the ground when things go wrong or when you're not perfect and that sort of thing um but i always like talking to people about the idea of okay we all want to do well in life right we want to you know be at our best and but if you take that idea and you take i don't know elite athletes um

that that tendency to um not only be self-critical but just you know psychologically hammering yourself into the ground when things go wrong or when you're not perfect and that sort of thing um but i always like talking to people about the idea of okay we all want to do well in life right we want to you know be at our best and but if you take that idea and you take i don't know elite athletes um

there is no elite athlete out there that chooses not to have a coach or support around them to do their best, right? They recognize that that's helpful, but they also don't choose their high school bully to come and coach them and come along to competitions with them or they'll choose someone that they trust, someone that is honest with them, but delivers that honesty with respect and,

there is no elite athlete out there that chooses not to have a coach or support around them to do their best, right? They recognize that that's helpful, but they also don't choose their high school bully to come and coach them and come along to competitions with them or they'll choose someone that they trust, someone that is honest with them, but delivers that honesty with respect and,

there is no elite athlete out there that chooses not to have a coach or support around them to do their best, right? They recognize that that's helpful, but they also don't choose their high school bully to come and coach them and come along to competitions with them or they'll choose someone that they trust, someone that is honest with them, but delivers that honesty with respect and,

and someone who genuinely wants them to be at their best and achieve and so if you take that idea of a sports coach and everything that they have to embody to be decent at that job to get the most out of someone why wouldn't you want to also do that for yourself in your own head um you know the differences um between you know that kind of high school bully sound or you know the um