Dr. Julie Smith

and someone who genuinely wants them to be at their best and achieve and so if you take that idea of a sports coach and everything that they have to embody to be decent at that job to get the most out of someone why wouldn't you want to also do that for yourself in your own head um you know the differences um between you know that kind of high school bully sound or you know the um

and someone who genuinely wants them to be at their best and achieve and so if you take that idea of a sports coach and everything that they have to embody to be decent at that job to get the most out of someone why wouldn't you want to also do that for yourself in your own head um you know the differences um between you know that kind of high school bully sound or you know the um

abusive parent or whoever that voice is in your mind, that is never going to get the kind of outcome that you would get from a really good coach or someone who genuinely wants the best for you.

abusive parent or whoever that voice is in your mind, that is never going to get the kind of outcome that you would get from a really good coach or someone who genuinely wants the best for you.

abusive parent or whoever that voice is in your mind, that is never going to get the kind of outcome that you would get from a really good coach or someone who genuinely wants the best for you.

Yeah, and I think a lot of people get the impression that if you're not sort of verbally hammering yourself, that the alternative is some kind of airy-fairy, you know, you're lovely as you are and that kind of thing that you just can't believe in and just feels... And there's a lot in between, isn't there?

Yeah, and I think a lot of people get the impression that if you're not sort of verbally hammering yourself, that the alternative is some kind of airy-fairy, you know, you're lovely as you are and that kind of thing that you just can't believe in and just feels... And there's a lot in between, isn't there?

Yeah, and I think a lot of people get the impression that if you're not sort of verbally hammering yourself, that the alternative is some kind of airy-fairy, you know, you're lovely as you are and that kind of thing that you just can't believe in and just feels... And there's a lot in between, isn't there?

So, you know, when I talked about the kind of fear chapter and that sort of inner voice that I needed when I was going through all my health stuff in the summer, I needed a hard voice. We are not victims here. We are being strong here. We are doing this. And it was very sort of powerful. It needed to be a powerful approach. It needed that.

So, you know, when I talked about the kind of fear chapter and that sort of inner voice that I needed when I was going through all my health stuff in the summer, I needed a hard voice. We are not victims here. We are being strong here. We are doing this. And it was very sort of powerful. It needed to be a powerful approach. It needed that.

So, you know, when I talked about the kind of fear chapter and that sort of inner voice that I needed when I was going through all my health stuff in the summer, I needed a hard voice. We are not victims here. We are being strong here. We are doing this. And it was very sort of powerful. It needed to be a powerful approach. It needed that.

I think what wasn't there was the contempt, was the digging at yourself. I think what stops a lot of people from trying to challenge how they speak to themselves is that they think, The airy-fairy stuff is the only, self-indulgence is the only alternative. And it's not, you know, actually self-compassion has to be honest all the time.

I think what wasn't there was the contempt, was the digging at yourself. I think what stops a lot of people from trying to challenge how they speak to themselves is that they think, The airy-fairy stuff is the only, self-indulgence is the only alternative. And it's not, you know, actually self-compassion has to be honest all the time.

I think what wasn't there was the contempt, was the digging at yourself. I think what stops a lot of people from trying to challenge how they speak to themselves is that they think, The airy-fairy stuff is the only, self-indulgence is the only alternative. And it's not, you know, actually self-compassion has to be honest all the time.

And if you're not living in line with your own values or you're not making yourself proud, you have to be honest with yourself about that. But in a way that's also respectful. Yeah. And that doesn't make you recoil in shame and then unable to learn from it. So there's this kind of whole spectrum and variability and choice about what that tone is like.

And if you're not living in line with your own values or you're not making yourself proud, you have to be honest with yourself about that. But in a way that's also respectful. Yeah. And that doesn't make you recoil in shame and then unable to learn from it. So there's this kind of whole spectrum and variability and choice about what that tone is like.

And if you're not living in line with your own values or you're not making yourself proud, you have to be honest with yourself about that. But in a way that's also respectful. Yeah. And that doesn't make you recoil in shame and then unable to learn from it. So there's this kind of whole spectrum and variability and choice about what that tone is like.

And those sorts of responses are often going to increase the urges to escape and avoid, which aren't going to lead to success anyway. So even if you feel like shame or fear or something like that has worked to get you set on a better path, it's not sustainable because it's more likely to lead to failure. the need to use those escape methods and later on.

And those sorts of responses are often going to increase the urges to escape and avoid, which aren't going to lead to success anyway. So even if you feel like shame or fear or something like that has worked to get you set on a better path, it's not sustainable because it's more likely to lead to failure. the need to use those escape methods and later on.

And those sorts of responses are often going to increase the urges to escape and avoid, which aren't going to lead to success anyway. So even if you feel like shame or fear or something like that has worked to get you set on a better path, it's not sustainable because it's more likely to lead to failure. the need to use those escape methods and later on.