Dr. Julie Smith

But yeah, I think sometimes that decision has to come just carefully and considered so that you're not sort of impulsively pushing someone out and then later realize that there might have been an explanation for it.

I mean, it's quite common, actually, this sort of avoidant person getting into a relationship with an anxious attached person. So if you're sort of anxiously attached, you might always be worried about what that other person feels and you will want more affection from them and more reassurance that they still love you. And that's based on those early attachments. Whereas the avoidant person...

I mean, it's quite common, actually, this sort of avoidant person getting into a relationship with an anxious attached person. So if you're sort of anxiously attached, you might always be worried about what that other person feels and you will want more affection from them and more reassurance that they still love you. And that's based on those early attachments. Whereas the avoidant person...

I mean, it's quite common, actually, this sort of avoidant person getting into a relationship with an anxious attached person. So if you're sort of anxiously attached, you might always be worried about what that other person feels and you will want more affection from them and more reassurance that they still love you. And that's based on those early attachments. Whereas the avoidant person...

they still need love and they still need that reassurance, but they're not going to ask you for it. And when things get too sort of intimate, then that will fill them with some sort of uncomfortable feelings, maybe fear, and they will kind of shut that down. And it doesn't mean they don't need love from the other person. they still benefit from connection.

they still need love and they still need that reassurance, but they're not going to ask you for it. And when things get too sort of intimate, then that will fill them with some sort of uncomfortable feelings, maybe fear, and they will kind of shut that down. And it doesn't mean they don't need love from the other person. they still benefit from connection.

they still need love and they still need that reassurance, but they're not going to ask you for it. And when things get too sort of intimate, then that will fill them with some sort of uncomfortable feelings, maybe fear, and they will kind of shut that down. And it doesn't mean they don't need love from the other person. they still benefit from connection.

They just find it really difficult to reach out for it and to sit in that sort of exposed state, that vulnerable state of being close to someone or being intimate with someone. So I think what you're doing when you're working with couples who are in that kind of relationship, the risk is that

They just find it really difficult to reach out for it and to sit in that sort of exposed state, that vulnerable state of being close to someone or being intimate with someone. So I think what you're doing when you're working with couples who are in that kind of relationship, the risk is that

They just find it really difficult to reach out for it and to sit in that sort of exposed state, that vulnerable state of being close to someone or being intimate with someone. So I think what you're doing when you're working with couples who are in that kind of relationship, the risk is that

The relationship ends because the avoidant person becomes so overwhelmed by the anxious person who keeps trying, keeps trying, keeps trying that they kind of push back or become sort of rejecting. And then that's too much for that anxious person. And in the end, they say, I can't do any more of this. And they move on.

The relationship ends because the avoidant person becomes so overwhelmed by the anxious person who keeps trying, keeps trying, keeps trying that they kind of push back or become sort of rejecting. And then that's too much for that anxious person. And in the end, they say, I can't do any more of this. And they move on.

The relationship ends because the avoidant person becomes so overwhelmed by the anxious person who keeps trying, keeps trying, keeps trying that they kind of push back or become sort of rejecting. And then that's too much for that anxious person. And in the end, they say, I can't do any more of this. And they move on.

And so what you're aiming for in that scenario is to, and it's important to, I know you said at the beginning there about someone who doesn't love you back. This is the kind of scenario where these people do love each other. They just have different styles of attachment.

And so what you're aiming for in that scenario is to, and it's important to, I know you said at the beginning there about someone who doesn't love you back. This is the kind of scenario where these people do love each other. They just have different styles of attachment.

And so what you're aiming for in that scenario is to, and it's important to, I know you said at the beginning there about someone who doesn't love you back. This is the kind of scenario where these people do love each other. They just have different styles of attachment.

And so what you're aiming for is awareness of each person's cycle, own sort of cycle or pattern of dealing with people in the relationship. Yeah. So that they have some level of appreciation and a degree of patience for the other person and what they're experiencing. But for both of those to aim for a more secure attachment style.

And so what you're aiming for is awareness of each person's cycle, own sort of cycle or pattern of dealing with people in the relationship. Yeah. So that they have some level of appreciation and a degree of patience for the other person and what they're experiencing. But for both of those to aim for a more secure attachment style.

And so what you're aiming for is awareness of each person's cycle, own sort of cycle or pattern of dealing with people in the relationship. Yeah. So that they have some level of appreciation and a degree of patience for the other person and what they're experiencing. But for both of those to aim for a more secure attachment style.

So to the edge towards somewhere in the middle, which involves compromise from both people. So it involves, you know, the person who's more avoidant building up their tolerance for intimacy and closeness and for the anxious person to build up their resilience for intimacy.