Dr. Karl Pillemer

Yeah, because, of course, the people I interviewed, that term, fair and square, was something they often would have used in the 50s.

And that was the idea, that you offer people a square deal.

You offer something that's really fair.

Yeah, that was another surprise for me.

And I will say to listeners, I know you may have in your mind a little sign going off, a cliche alert.

Yeah.

Because who wouldn't want to be honest?

But for them, it meant something deeper and more profound, because it was such a source of regret.

People who had deceived someone—actually, let me say, if you were on the receiving end—

of some kind of major dishonesty or betrayal.

You know, that was a major regret in your own life.

So people, of course, had been on the receiving end of that kind of thing, of infidelity.

And it was often... It really would shake their faith, you know, in the grounds of human relationships.

But I would say one of the strongest regrets was a person's own dishonesty.

So I had many cases.

One man...

told me about his marital infidelity.

And he wasn't able to overcome his feelings of guilt about it, how he had never been able to be faithful, even though he tried, his wife had put up with him.

I talked to other people who had been involved in questionable business deals.

And they had those same kinds of regrets.