Dr. Karl Pillemer

So honestly, integrity, having your life narrative at the end of your life,

Because, by the way, narratives towards the end of life are extremely important.

You do really want to be able to sum up your life in some kind of a meaningful narrative.

And we could come back to that, but that's an important way of feeling like you're ready for whatever's next.

Having acted with integrity turns out to be a major thing that people value when they're summing up their life narrative.

So when you're thinking now, if you're doing something that is less than honest, if you're doing things that are deceitful or deceptive in some way, you can be pretty sure it's something that's going to interfere with your understanding of the value of your own life.

It's a way you can use right now.

So it's something that for people, it's extremely actionable.

Ask yourself right now, is there something I'm doing that is on the borderline of honesty, even that I will later regret?

Now, I say in the book, we aren't talking about

you know, the answer to the question, do these pants make me look fat?

I mean, we aren't talking about some kind of radical honesty in which you can never be strategic, but it's more honesty and integrity in actions.

And yeah, like I would say, you know, like it might feel good now.

And it's not going to feel good as you review your life.

It's absolutely true, and it's being honest with yourself, too, as you're thinking about a partner.

Am I deceiving myself in this?

Do I not really have that powerful in-love feeling, but I simply just feel it's time?

One of the strongest arguments they would make is what Mel just said.

If you are in a job right now that is unfulfilling, and you're doing it mostly for the money,

really be honest with yourself.