This One Study Will Change How You Think About Your Entire Life: The Cornell Legacy Project
episodePreviously titled “Life Lessons From 100-Year-Olds You Didn’t Know You Needed” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
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What are the biggest regrets of people in their 80s, 90s, and 100s?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. If you could go back in time and spend just a few minutes with your younger self, let's say your 15-year-old, your 20, your 30-year-old self, I bet you would know exactly what you'd say because you have important advice to give. You have some valuable lessons that you would share. You would say, look, here's exactly what you should do right now. But hear me out, hear me out. Wouldn't it be amazing if every once in a while, you could time travel forward to the future and get advice from the older, wiser version of you? Wouldn't you love to find out what changes you could make in your life right now while you still have the chance?
Psst, I got a little secret for you. You can. Because today, you and I are hopping in a time machine and going to the future to hear the life lessons that every single 90-year-old wishes they knew when they were your age. That's what we're doing. See, I have this amazing guest here in our Boston studios, and he is the perfect person to share these life lessons with you. If you've ever wondered, what is the secret to living a happy life? What are the biggest regrets that people have at the end of their life? And at the end, what really matters?
How can we avoid the common regrets of the elderly?
And what doesn't? Well, you're about to find out. And once you hear these life lessons from 80, 90, and 100-year-olds, you will never be the same again.
It's true. It's true.
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited that you're here. It's always an honor to be together and to get to spend time with you. If you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. And I can't wait for you to meet today's guest, Dr. Carl Pillemer, and learn the life lessons from people in their 80s, 90s, and even in their 100s These are life lessons you didn't know you needed to hear. Professor Pillemer is one of the world's leading researchers on aging and family relationships. He's the Hazel E. Reed Professor of Human Development at Cornell University and Professor of Gerontology in Medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine.
He's also the founder of the Cornell Legacy Project. It's a massive, decade-long study capturing those hard-won life lessons that you're about to learn today.
What simple shifts lead to lasting happiness?
His best-selling books, 30 Lessons for Living and 30 Lessons for Loving, are blueprints for how to live a life with more meaning, fewer regrets, stronger relationships, and the happiness you deserve. He's also the author of Fault Lines, Fractured Families, and How to Mend Them. Professor Pillemer has published over 150 peer-reviewed studies. His work has been cited more than 26,000 times. And I am so personally excited to have this conversation because Professor Pillemer's work has impacted me and changed my life. so much so that I cite his work in my first book, The Five-Second Rule. I've discussed it and taught it on stages around the world. I reference it every single chance that I get. Can you tell I'm so excited that he has taken the time to come here to our studios in downtown Boston?
So please help me welcome Dr. Carl Pillemer to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
It's such a pleasure to be here, Mel.
I just can't wait for our discussion. I have been waiting nine years to meet you in person, so I'm thrilled that you're here. And here's where I want to start. Could you speak directly to the person who's with us right now and share with them what could change about their life or the life of somebody that they care about?
What advice do older adults give about living a fulfilling life?
who they share this episode with, if they take everything that you're about to share with us and teach to us today, and they apply it to their own life.
I want to share with you a lesson that many people learn too late. One of the things older people have told me over and over is that life is incredibly short. It passes by faster than you think it will. There's a corollary to that which is even more important, and that's that happiness and fulfillment and purpose are not a destination that you will arrive at when conditions are somehow perfect.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the biggest regrets of people in their 80s, 90s, and 100s?
0:00–1:32
2
How can we avoid the common regrets of the elderly?
1:32–3:27
3
What simple shifts lead to lasting happiness?
3:27–4:45
4
What advice do older adults give about living a fulfilling life?
4:45–6:16
5
How can we make the most of our relationships?
6:16–7:31
6
What role does gratitude play in happiness as we age?
7:31–9:10
7
How can we approach life decisions to minimize regret?
9:10–9:41
8
What practical steps can we take to live intentionally now?
9:41–1:28:27
Speakers
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