Dr. Kurt Gray

But now I've kind of understood and recognized that you are at least a little bit victimized.

And now we can have conversations.

Hmm.

And this isn't just in geopolitical conflict, but also, you know, conflicts between spouses, between coworkers, right?

So many times in relationships, you think, oh, this person's doing all these terrible things.

They're the villain and I'm just the victim.

And they think the same thing.

And the way you come together is you say, well, I still want to have a relationship with you.

Now I recognize that I was kind of the villain a little bit.

And you're kind of the victim.

And once someone feels validated, then they can better have conversations because now no one is cast as just evil and no one likes to be seen as just evil.

One, you can just ask yourself, what harms do they see?

Because we often don't think that the other side's trying to protect themselves or anything, right?

We think they're trying to burn it all down.

And people have a misconception about what best creates respect in conversations about politics.

So we asked hundreds of Americans, imagine you're having a political conversation with someone on the other side.

What would make you respect them?

The majority of people said facts.

I would respect when someone just gave me the facts without any editorializing.

And so we said...