Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Those were sort of the hallmark characteristics of parents that were emotionally immature.

But I found there were four types.

And one of those was the type that I called the passive type, meaning that they usually are the favorite parent because they're not actively demanding attention or getting angry at the child or acting out in any particular way.

They're certainly not rejecting the child.

But they're also not protecting the child.

So lots of times the passive parent is kind of like a kid themselves.

They can be fun.

They can be close to the children.

They have more empathy for the children because I think they kind of identify with the children kind of being treated badly by that other parent.

But it doesn't seem to spark an adult urge to do something about it to protect that child.

So it can lead to just this kind of feeling like, where were you when I needed you?

And why didn't you step in to do something to shield me?

When somebody asks, how do I process the grief and the anger?

To me, that tells me that they are about 80% there.

already just by... The recognition.

Yeah, but by knowing that's what they feel toward that parent.

Because a lot of times when people first come into therapy and they're telling me about the dynamics, lots of times they paint a picture as if they have this one perfectly emotionally healthy good parent.

It could be the father, it could be the mother.

That was a source of love.

That was a source of their...