Dr. Lindsay Gibson

But to expect the person then to go into that next step of compassion and forgiveness, I don't feel in a position to make the judgment that that's what a person should do.

But to expect the person then to go into that next step of compassion and forgiveness, I don't feel in a position to make the judgment that that's what a person should do.

To me, I look at that question differently. I look at it, do any of us owe anybody else anything?

To me, I look at that question differently. I look at it, do any of us owe anybody else anything?

The answer is yes, I think we do as human beings. If I'm walking down the street and somebody trips and falls, I'm going to stop and help them get up. I mean, there are things that call out altruistic, helpful responses. I mean, I wouldn't want to live in a world where that wasn't there. But what has happened is that there has been such a—to get back to those stereotypes again—

The answer is yes, I think we do as human beings. If I'm walking down the street and somebody trips and falls, I'm going to stop and help them get up. I mean, there are things that call out altruistic, helpful responses. I mean, I wouldn't want to live in a world where that wasn't there. But what has happened is that there has been such a—to get back to those stereotypes again—

There's been such an assumption that because you're my child, you owe me something in terms of like payback or I'm entitled to your attention and I can treat you any way I want because we're family and you're my child. That's where you get up to a point where there should be a boundary. I mean, there is no law that says you have to respond in a certain way.

There's been such an assumption that because you're my child, you owe me something in terms of like payback or I'm entitled to your attention and I can treat you any way I want because we're family and you're my child. That's where you get up to a point where there should be a boundary. I mean, there is no law that says you have to respond in a certain way.

And what I'm about is know what it's going to cost you to respond. Think about yourself, too, and then make your best decision about it. We ultimately do have the right to say no when something is going to harm us.

And what I'm about is know what it's going to cost you to respond. Think about yourself, too, and then make your best decision about it. We ultimately do have the right to say no when something is going to harm us.

Yeah, you know, I think if you ever watch little kids, their default mode is happiness. And that's because they're spontaneously going and doing the next interesting thing. They just naturally are following their energies of the moment. So I think that's what happens with people too.

Yeah, you know, I think if you ever watch little kids, their default mode is happiness. And that's because they're spontaneously going and doing the next interesting thing. They just naturally are following their energies of the moment. So I think that's what happens with people too.

If we take away some of the things that have been holding them back, if they feel released to say no to the things that kill their energy... if they don't feel guilted into acting more compassionate or loving than they really feel, if we take these things off of them, it's like a cork that bobs to the top of the water.

If we take away some of the things that have been holding them back, if they feel released to say no to the things that kill their energy... if they don't feel guilted into acting more compassionate or loving than they really feel, if we take these things off of them, it's like a cork that bobs to the top of the water.

The emotionally immature person needs other people to emotionally stabilize them, keep them calm, make them happy, and also to buffer their self-esteem, make sure they keep feeling good about themselves. That is a terrible drag on a person.

The emotionally immature person needs other people to emotionally stabilize them, keep them calm, make them happy, and also to buffer their self-esteem, make sure they keep feeling good about themselves. That is a terrible drag on a person.

That's exhausting when we can get the idea that we're not in this world to function as a sort of an auxiliary coping mechanism for people who can't do it for themselves. we begin to feel our energy coming back. You know, that's what happiness is. Happiness is like free energy. Happiness is, I get to go and do the next thing that I feel like doing.

That's exhausting when we can get the idea that we're not in this world to function as a sort of an auxiliary coping mechanism for people who can't do it for themselves. we begin to feel our energy coming back. You know, that's what happiness is. Happiness is like free energy. Happiness is, I get to go and do the next thing that I feel like doing.

Not in a, you know, hedonistic, inconsiderate kind of way, but I just get to follow my nose for what my own individual interests are. And that's what makes us happy. along with some of these emotionally mature skills in relationships that keep things, you know, relatively satisfying between ourselves and the people that we love, that all adds up to happiness.

Not in a, you know, hedonistic, inconsiderate kind of way, but I just get to follow my nose for what my own individual interests are. And that's what makes us happy. along with some of these emotionally mature skills in relationships that keep things, you know, relatively satisfying between ourselves and the people that we love, that all adds up to happiness.