Dr. Marc Brackett

When we get treated unfairly, we should be angry. It doesn't mean that we have to be dysregulated. There's an assumption that we make that when we experience unpleasant, strong emotions like anxiety or anger, that we're going to be dysregulated. I have a whole new relationship with my anxiety. very different relationship. I may have spent years working on it.

I notice it and I'm like, hi anxiety, how you doing today? And then it just, it's okay. I can even be giving, you know, here with you or giving a speech or teaching, have that anxiety come in and not allow it to have power over me. because I can observe it, I can welcome it. And then if it's in the way, I can say, you know, anxiety, you're going to go back there for a little while.

I notice it and I'm like, hi anxiety, how you doing today? And then it just, it's okay. I can even be giving, you know, here with you or giving a speech or teaching, have that anxiety come in and not allow it to have power over me. because I can observe it, I can welcome it. And then if it's in the way, I can say, you know, anxiety, you're going to go back there for a little while.

I notice it and I'm like, hi anxiety, how you doing today? And then it just, it's okay. I can even be giving, you know, here with you or giving a speech or teaching, have that anxiety come in and not allow it to have power over me. because I can observe it, I can welcome it. And then if it's in the way, I can say, you know, anxiety, you're going to go back there for a little while.

Or, you know, Mark, I mean, sometimes, you know, when I give speeches, like it's the same speech, right? You think redundant. And it's like, I can't believe I have to talk about this again. And then I'll look at the audience and like, it's their first time. You know, it's like all of a sudden, like my despair turns into optimism and hope.

Or, you know, Mark, I mean, sometimes, you know, when I give speeches, like it's the same speech, right? You think redundant. And it's like, I can't believe I have to talk about this again. And then I'll look at the audience and like, it's their first time. You know, it's like all of a sudden, like my despair turns into optimism and hope.

Or, you know, Mark, I mean, sometimes, you know, when I give speeches, like it's the same speech, right? You think redundant. And it's like, I can't believe I have to talk about this again. And then I'll look at the audience and like, it's their first time. You know, it's like all of a sudden, like my despair turns into optimism and hope.

His feelings meant she was going to go, you know, buy his feelings mentor.

His feelings meant she was going to go, you know, buy his feelings mentor.

His feelings meant she was going to go, you know, buy his feelings mentor.

Hey, that's another one of my goals.

Hey, that's another one of my goals.

Hey, that's another one of my goals.

Great. That's fantastic. Because that's empathy without emotional intelligence. Mm-hmm. And so I work with a lot of doctors. I've done quite a bit of work with the cancer hospital at Yale. It's called Smilo. And doctors have been taught from early on, leave your empathy at the door. And I challenge that.

Great. That's fantastic. Because that's empathy without emotional intelligence. Mm-hmm. And so I work with a lot of doctors. I've done quite a bit of work with the cancer hospital at Yale. It's called Smilo. And doctors have been taught from early on, leave your empathy at the door. And I challenge that.

Great. That's fantastic. Because that's empathy without emotional intelligence. Mm-hmm. And so I work with a lot of doctors. I've done quite a bit of work with the cancer hospital at Yale. It's called Smilo. And doctors have been taught from early on, leave your empathy at the door. And I challenge that.

When you're a patient with cancer, knowing that you may pass, the last thing you want is an unempathic You want a relationship with someone who's treating you. And the assumption is that you get lost in your empathy. And people have written about that. And it's true. There is overzealous empathy. You can have compassion fatigue. But again, it's in the absence of emotional intelligence.

When you're a patient with cancer, knowing that you may pass, the last thing you want is an unempathic You want a relationship with someone who's treating you. And the assumption is that you get lost in your empathy. And people have written about that. And it's true. There is overzealous empathy. You can have compassion fatigue. But again, it's in the absence of emotional intelligence.

When you're a patient with cancer, knowing that you may pass, the last thing you want is an unempathic You want a relationship with someone who's treating you. And the assumption is that you get lost in your empathy. And people have written about that. And it's true. There is overzealous empathy. You can have compassion fatigue. But again, it's in the absence of emotional intelligence.

What do I mean? Well, part of emotional intelligence is regulation. And so if I see my work as a cancer doctor as helping people have the best last few months of their lives, that's a really interesting way to think about it. So as I'm in relationship with my patient, my mindset is I've come to the understanding that my job, people pass.