Dr. Marisa Franco

We actually like other people less. We actually report having less faith in humanity. All of this is so that we can protect ourselves at times of loneliness. But obviously, this can also be very self-sabotaging, such that loneliness can become a self-perpetuating cycle because of how it affects how we perceive and relate to others.

Exactly, Mike. And actually, the most successful interventions against loneliness are not the ones that have focused on connecting people with others, but actually on changing people's maladaptive thought patterns that are triggered when they're lonely.

Exactly, Mike. And actually, the most successful interventions against loneliness are not the ones that have focused on connecting people with others, but actually on changing people's maladaptive thought patterns that are triggered when they're lonely.

Exactly, Mike. And actually, the most successful interventions against loneliness are not the ones that have focused on connecting people with others, but actually on changing people's maladaptive thought patterns that are triggered when they're lonely.

Which means that if you think people don't like you, or if you're very cynical about not liking other people, reframing those beliefs, trying to think differently so that you can be more open to connecting with people.

Which means that if you think people don't like you, or if you're very cynical about not liking other people, reframing those beliefs, trying to think differently so that you can be more open to connecting with people.

Which means that if you think people don't like you, or if you're very cynical about not liking other people, reframing those beliefs, trying to think differently so that you can be more open to connecting with people.

Yeah, so I don't think it's as much about being kids as much as it is about the settings that we're in when we're kids, which provide for factors that sociologists really consider central for making connections, such as continuous unplanned interaction, so I'm seeing you consistently without planning it, and shared vulnerability.

Yeah, so I don't think it's as much about being kids as much as it is about the settings that we're in when we're kids, which provide for factors that sociologists really consider central for making connections, such as continuous unplanned interaction, so I'm seeing you consistently without planning it, and shared vulnerability.

Yeah, so I don't think it's as much about being kids as much as it is about the settings that we're in when we're kids, which provide for factors that sociologists really consider central for making connections, such as continuous unplanned interaction, so I'm seeing you consistently without planning it, and shared vulnerability.

And when we have these factors in place, friendship tends to happen more or less organically. But as adults, we tend to no longer have these environments because at work, sure, we're seeing each other every day. Well, maybe less so now with everybody working from home, but we're not necessarily having that vulnerability in the workplace where people may only know one side of us.

And when we have these factors in place, friendship tends to happen more or less organically. But as adults, we tend to no longer have these environments because at work, sure, we're seeing each other every day. Well, maybe less so now with everybody working from home, but we're not necessarily having that vulnerability in the workplace where people may only know one side of us.

And when we have these factors in place, friendship tends to happen more or less organically. But as adults, we tend to no longer have these environments because at work, sure, we're seeing each other every day. Well, maybe less so now with everybody working from home, but we're not necessarily having that vulnerability in the workplace where people may only know one side of us.

And so because of that, I think, unfortunately, a lot of us might rely on this script from childhood where we just need to wait for friendships to come into our lives organically, not realizing that as adults, it no longer works that way.

And so because of that, I think, unfortunately, a lot of us might rely on this script from childhood where we just need to wait for friendships to come into our lives organically, not realizing that as adults, it no longer works that way.

And so because of that, I think, unfortunately, a lot of us might rely on this script from childhood where we just need to wait for friendships to come into our lives organically, not realizing that as adults, it no longer works that way.

I can see that too, that adults may be a little bit more afraid of initiating with other people. And that's honestly one of the biggest barriers that I see when it comes to making friends. We're all so, so afraid of rejection. But the truth is, Mike, that we're actually a lot less likely to be rejected than we think.

I can see that too, that adults may be a little bit more afraid of initiating with other people. And that's honestly one of the biggest barriers that I see when it comes to making friends. We're all so, so afraid of rejection. But the truth is, Mike, that we're actually a lot less likely to be rejected than we think.

I can see that too, that adults may be a little bit more afraid of initiating with other people. And that's honestly one of the biggest barriers that I see when it comes to making friends. We're all so, so afraid of rejection. But the truth is, Mike, that we're actually a lot less likely to be rejected than we think.

There's research on a phenomenon called the liking gap, where when strangers interact and they predict how much the other person likes them, they tend to underestimate how much the other person likes them. which is why one of my biggest tips for making friends as an adult is to assume people like you. So you'll actually initiate with people.