Dr. Martha Beck

Exactly. And you just crushed right over that boundary, that very sensitive inner vigilance that's saying, this is how we stay whole, Andrew. This is how we stay in integrity. So most people with a job, with a relationship, with any choice they make, they can trace it back. When I pick up the pieces for them years later, they're like, oh, I knew that the first week.

Exactly. And you just crushed right over that boundary, that very sensitive inner vigilance that's saying, this is how we stay whole, Andrew. This is how we stay in integrity. So most people with a job, with a relationship, with any choice they make, they can trace it back. When I pick up the pieces for them years later, they're like, oh, I knew that the first week.

Exactly. And you just crushed right over that boundary, that very sensitive inner vigilance that's saying, this is how we stay whole, Andrew. This is how we stay in integrity. So most people with a job, with a relationship, with any choice they make, they can trace it back. When I pick up the pieces for them years later, they're like, oh, I knew that the first week.

And I stayed in there for 20 years. So it's about, as I said earlier, being really granular in your experience of your own suffering and knowing that you are not here to suffer. There's this big thing that men in our society are taught that if, you know, their love songs, like, I would— I can't remember his name. He won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

And I stayed in there for 20 years. So it's about, as I said earlier, being really granular in your experience of your own suffering and knowing that you are not here to suffer. There's this big thing that men in our society are taught that if, you know, their love songs, like, I would— I can't remember his name. He won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

And I stayed in there for 20 years. So it's about, as I said earlier, being really granular in your experience of your own suffering and knowing that you are not here to suffer. There's this big thing that men in our society are taught that if, you know, their love songs, like, I would— I can't remember his name. He won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

And, you know, I would crawl down the avenue black and blue to show my love, to make you feel my love. And it's like, okay, that's not showing me love. You don't have to hurt yourself to show me love. But maybe that's why you have to pull back six inches from your own eyes to brutalize yourself for other people that martyr love. archetype. No, it doesn't work.

And, you know, I would crawl down the avenue black and blue to show my love, to make you feel my love. And it's like, okay, that's not showing me love. You don't have to hurt yourself to show me love. But maybe that's why you have to pull back six inches from your own eyes to brutalize yourself for other people that martyr love. archetype. No, it doesn't work.

And, you know, I would crawl down the avenue black and blue to show my love, to make you feel my love. And it's like, okay, that's not showing me love. You don't have to hurt yourself to show me love. But maybe that's why you have to pull back six inches from your own eyes to brutalize yourself for other people that martyr love. archetype. No, it doesn't work.

And repeat.

And repeat.

And repeat.

Yeah, I think because they identify me as a coach. They go to a therapist with relationship things, but people come to me with, my life's just not working, that feeling you were describing.

Yeah, I think because they identify me as a coach. They go to a therapist with relationship things, but people come to me with, my life's just not working, that feeling you were describing.

Yeah, I think because they identify me as a coach. They go to a therapist with relationship things, but people come to me with, my life's just not working, that feeling you were describing.

Yeah, the whole thing's not working, but in my job, I need to change my job. I need to get my purpose. I need to have my life's meaning. And it always ends up ending up to be about the relationship as well. Mm-hmm. Anything we do that's dysfunctional for any part of ourselves is dysfunctional for every part of ourselves. The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

Yeah, the whole thing's not working, but in my job, I need to change my job. I need to get my purpose. I need to have my life's meaning. And it always ends up ending up to be about the relationship as well. Mm-hmm. Anything we do that's dysfunctional for any part of ourselves is dysfunctional for every part of ourselves. The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

Yeah, the whole thing's not working, but in my job, I need to change my job. I need to get my purpose. I need to have my life's meaning. And it always ends up ending up to be about the relationship as well. Mm-hmm. Anything we do that's dysfunctional for any part of ourselves is dysfunctional for every part of ourselves. The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

See that pattern?

See that pattern?