Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. So I think recognizing your grieving body has to figure out how to regulate again is one reason why support is so important. There's a study of – we were talking about earlier before the podcast started. There's a study of primates where, you know, as with other primates, there's a lot of infant mortality. Right.

Absolutely. So I think recognizing your grieving body has to figure out how to regulate again is one reason why support is so important. There's a study of – we were talking about earlier before the podcast started. There's a study of primates where, you know, as with other primates, there's a lot of infant mortality. Right.

Absolutely. So I think recognizing your grieving body has to figure out how to regulate again is one reason why support is so important. There's a study of – we were talking about earlier before the podcast started. There's a study of primates where, you know, as with other primates, there's a lot of infant mortality. Right.

And in this observational study, there are troops that are being observed by scientists. And with the death of an infant primate, the mother will often carry that deceased infant, that baby monkey, for a long time after their death and spend a lot of time looking at the infant. the mother doesn't groom. She doesn't try to nurse. She's not confused that the infant is alive.

And in this observational study, there are troops that are being observed by scientists. And with the death of an infant primate, the mother will often carry that deceased infant, that baby monkey, for a long time after their death and spend a lot of time looking at the infant. the mother doesn't groom. She doesn't try to nurse. She's not confused that the infant is alive.

And in this observational study, there are troops that are being observed by scientists. And with the death of an infant primate, the mother will often carry that deceased infant, that baby monkey, for a long time after their death and spend a lot of time looking at the infant. the mother doesn't groom. She doesn't try to nurse. She's not confused that the infant is alive.

But what is interesting is she stops grooming herself during this time. Now, that's actually medically risky for a primate because we know that grooming is so important to their health to get rid of parasites and such. And, you know, usually in these troops, there's a really strict hierarchy. Who gets to groom who is, you know, the latest Kardashian show kind of thing. And

But what is interesting is she stops grooming herself during this time. Now, that's actually medically risky for a primate because we know that grooming is so important to their health to get rid of parasites and such. And, you know, usually in these troops, there's a really strict hierarchy. Who gets to groom who is, you know, the latest Kardashian show kind of thing. And

But what is interesting is she stops grooming herself during this time. Now, that's actually medically risky for a primate because we know that grooming is so important to their health to get rid of parasites and such. And, you know, usually in these troops, there's a really strict hierarchy. Who gets to groom who is, you know, the latest Kardashian show kind of thing. And

During this time, when the mother is trying to understand what's happened to this infant, the rules go out the window. Any member of the troop can groom this mother. Now, at some point, wide individual variation in how long the mother holds this infant, from days to months. Once she relinquishes the infant, the rules go back into effect.

During this time, when the mother is trying to understand what's happened to this infant, the rules go out the window. Any member of the troop can groom this mother. Now, at some point, wide individual variation in how long the mother holds this infant, from days to months. Once she relinquishes the infant, the rules go back into effect.

During this time, when the mother is trying to understand what's happened to this infant, the rules go out the window. Any member of the troop can groom this mother. Now, at some point, wide individual variation in how long the mother holds this infant, from days to months. Once she relinquishes the infant, the rules go back into effect.

So she goes back to the troop and now she participates in social life, in medical social life, in the way that she did before. I think the analogy here, in addition to every time I think about it, it just rips my heart a little bit, right? Yeah.

So she goes back to the troop and now she participates in social life, in medical social life, in the way that she did before. I think the analogy here, in addition to every time I think about it, it just rips my heart a little bit, right? Yeah.

So she goes back to the troop and now she participates in social life, in medical social life, in the way that she did before. I think the analogy here, in addition to every time I think about it, it just rips my heart a little bit, right? Yeah.

But the idea here is that it is all of our jobs to groom the mourning person, to care for them, to say, hey, how long has it been since you saw your doctor for your regular checkup? How long has it been since you had your mammogram or got your teeth cleaned, right? Often we've been caring for a loved one who's dying and we're neglecting our own medical care. Because here's the thing.

But the idea here is that it is all of our jobs to groom the mourning person, to care for them, to say, hey, how long has it been since you saw your doctor for your regular checkup? How long has it been since you had your mammogram or got your teeth cleaned, right? Often we've been caring for a loved one who's dying and we're neglecting our own medical care. Because here's the thing.

But the idea here is that it is all of our jobs to groom the mourning person, to care for them, to say, hey, how long has it been since you saw your doctor for your regular checkup? How long has it been since you had your mammogram or got your teeth cleaned, right? Often we've been caring for a loved one who's dying and we're neglecting our own medical care. Because here's the thing.