Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

Grief is the natural response. Our bodies are resilient. Many people are shocked by how much pain, physical pain, how they get a lump in their throat or they feel like their chest is on fire when they're grieving. But actually, our bodies are remarkably resilient. We do learn to re-regulate without this external pacemaker. But in those instances...

Grief is the natural response. Our bodies are resilient. Many people are shocked by how much pain, physical pain, how they get a lump in their throat or they feel like their chest is on fire when they're grieving. But actually, our bodies are remarkably resilient. We do learn to re-regulate without this external pacemaker. But in those instances...

Grief is the natural response. Our bodies are resilient. Many people are shocked by how much pain, physical pain, how they get a lump in their throat or they feel like their chest is on fire when they're grieving. But actually, our bodies are remarkably resilient. We do learn to re-regulate without this external pacemaker. But in those instances...

Where the body isn't resilient enough to be able to do that, we need people around us supporting us. In a study in my own lab, we thought, well, probably this risk for a broken heart, this risk of dying of a heart attack, isn't, you know, 24-7 equally risky. So we brought people into the lab and had them experience a wave of grief while they were hooked up to ECG and blood pressure and so forth.

Where the body isn't resilient enough to be able to do that, we need people around us supporting us. In a study in my own lab, we thought, well, probably this risk for a broken heart, this risk of dying of a heart attack, isn't, you know, 24-7 equally risky. So we brought people into the lab and had them experience a wave of grief while they were hooked up to ECG and blood pressure and so forth.

Where the body isn't resilient enough to be able to do that, we need people around us supporting us. In a study in my own lab, we thought, well, probably this risk for a broken heart, this risk of dying of a heart attack, isn't, you know, 24-7 equally risky. So we brought people into the lab and had them experience a wave of grief while they were hooked up to ECG and blood pressure and so forth.

And what we saw was everybody's blood pressure goes up during a wave of grief. That's probably not too surprising. But what we saw was the people who, when they walked in the door, told us they were having the most intense grief, their blood pressure went up the most. And then in a replication study in Germany, we saw that their blood pressure didn't recover.

And what we saw was everybody's blood pressure goes up during a wave of grief. That's probably not too surprising. But what we saw was the people who, when they walked in the door, told us they were having the most intense grief, their blood pressure went up the most. And then in a replication study in Germany, we saw that their blood pressure didn't recover.

And what we saw was everybody's blood pressure goes up during a wave of grief. That's probably not too surprising. But what we saw was the people who, when they walked in the door, told us they were having the most intense grief, their blood pressure went up the most. And then in a replication study in Germany, we saw that their blood pressure didn't recover.

So you can see that these waves of grief that our body and our mind and our brain have to learn how to cope with and then eventually to adapt to. those require a physical body that can sustain that. They require relationships that can support us and sustain that. And this is why I think support is so important, even though it doesn't take away the pain of missing your person, right?

So you can see that these waves of grief that our body and our mind and our brain have to learn how to cope with and then eventually to adapt to. those require a physical body that can sustain that. They require relationships that can support us and sustain that. And this is why I think support is so important, even though it doesn't take away the pain of missing your person, right?

So you can see that these waves of grief that our body and our mind and our brain have to learn how to cope with and then eventually to adapt to. those require a physical body that can sustain that. They require relationships that can support us and sustain that. And this is why I think support is so important, even though it doesn't take away the pain of missing your person, right?

Because we need every resource we can muster in the midst of this moment. Now, it does also mean that as much as we are missing our person, And it feels so isolating to try and explain that there's a hole in the room when no one else can see that hole.

Because we need every resource we can muster in the midst of this moment. Now, it does also mean that as much as we are missing our person, And it feels so isolating to try and explain that there's a hole in the room when no one else can see that hole.

Because we need every resource we can muster in the midst of this moment. Now, it does also mean that as much as we are missing our person, And it feels so isolating to try and explain that there's a hole in the room when no one else can see that hole.

It does help at some level to talk to this other person who is seeing a different hole in the room, who's also going through grief, because we recognize grieving is a human experience. And that you're not connected because you both miss the same person, but you are connected because you're both missing.

It does help at some level to talk to this other person who is seeing a different hole in the room, who's also going through grief, because we recognize grieving is a human experience. And that you're not connected because you both miss the same person, but you are connected because you're both missing.

It does help at some level to talk to this other person who is seeing a different hole in the room, who's also going through grief, because we recognize grieving is a human experience. And that you're not connected because you both miss the same person, but you are connected because you're both missing.

And so I think that bereavement support can be incredibly helpful to connect with others who are going through this same process. And frankly, you know, I don't recommend and some bereavement support groups actually prohibit dating relationships from a grief support group. But the reality is the people that we connect with

And so I think that bereavement support can be incredibly helpful to connect with others who are going through this same process. And frankly, you know, I don't recommend and some bereavement support groups actually prohibit dating relationships from a grief support group. But the reality is the people that we connect with