Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Absolutely. So she published on death and dying in 1969. And you're right. It was groundbreaking, the idea that grief is more than sadness. And she did what all good scientists do initially. It was descriptive. She did clinical interviews and she described. But it became a prescription, didn't it? Right? Those stages. And we know now, think how far science has come, right?

Absolutely. So she published on death and dying in 1969. And you're right. It was groundbreaking, the idea that grief is more than sadness. And she did what all good scientists do initially. It was descriptive. She did clinical interviews and she described. But it became a prescription, didn't it? Right? Those stages. And we know now, think how far science has come, right?

Absolutely. So she published on death and dying in 1969. And you're right. It was groundbreaking, the idea that grief is more than sadness. And she did what all good scientists do initially. It was descriptive. She did clinical interviews and she described. But it became a prescription, didn't it? Right? Those stages. And we know now, think how far science has come, right?

We know now with longitudinal studies where we're looking at the same person over and over again. that we do see trajectory. So we see that acceptance increases over time. We see that yearning decreases over time, but that it's not linear and that it's not, just as you say, it's not one stage and then you're done with that.

We know now with longitudinal studies where we're looking at the same person over and over again. that we do see trajectory. So we see that acceptance increases over time. We see that yearning decreases over time, but that it's not linear and that it's not, just as you say, it's not one stage and then you're done with that.

We know now with longitudinal studies where we're looking at the same person over and over again. that we do see trajectory. So we see that acceptance increases over time. We see that yearning decreases over time, but that it's not linear and that it's not, just as you say, it's not one stage and then you're done with that.

I've had people say to me, well, it's been 20 years, but I haven't felt anger yet, so I don't think I'm done grieving. And I just, my heart goes out to them. It's not a prescription. And modern grief, Grief research tells us so much more, not just about what happens, but why and how.

I've had people say to me, well, it's been 20 years, but I haven't felt anger yet, so I don't think I'm done grieving. And I just, my heart goes out to them. It's not a prescription. And modern grief, Grief research tells us so much more, not just about what happens, but why and how.

I've had people say to me, well, it's been 20 years, but I haven't felt anger yet, so I don't think I'm done grieving. And I just, my heart goes out to them. It's not a prescription. And modern grief, Grief research tells us so much more, not just about what happens, but why and how.

Yeah, big time. You know, part of this is a cultural piece, right? Part of this is that We joke about, you know, there's apparently a big book of rules about grief that no one can get a hold of, but people have very strong feelings on, right? And people will talk about how, you know, I got hammered with the big book of grief rules today.

Yeah, big time. You know, part of this is a cultural piece, right? Part of this is that We joke about, you know, there's apparently a big book of rules about grief that no one can get a hold of, but people have very strong feelings on, right? And people will talk about how, you know, I got hammered with the big book of grief rules today.

Yeah, big time. You know, part of this is a cultural piece, right? Part of this is that We joke about, you know, there's apparently a big book of rules about grief that no one can get a hold of, but people have very strong feelings on, right? And people will talk about how, you know, I got hammered with the big book of grief rules today.

Somebody told me I shouldn't be or I should be fill in the blank. Believe me, it's hard enough as it is without expectations around you of whether you're doing it right, you know. At one level, then, there's the social expectations. A woman contacted me about 10 days after her husband died, and she said... I just am not sad. And I'm worried something's deeply wrong with me.

Somebody told me I shouldn't be or I should be fill in the blank. Believe me, it's hard enough as it is without expectations around you of whether you're doing it right, you know. At one level, then, there's the social expectations. A woman contacted me about 10 days after her husband died, and she said... I just am not sad. And I'm worried something's deeply wrong with me.

Somebody told me I shouldn't be or I should be fill in the blank. Believe me, it's hard enough as it is without expectations around you of whether you're doing it right, you know. At one level, then, there's the social expectations. A woman contacted me about 10 days after her husband died, and she said... I just am not sad. And I'm worried something's deeply wrong with me.

She was an older woman. We did like a neuropsych evaluation and I did a clinical interview and so forth. And I said, I think the reality is you're just OK. And she said, OK, that's what I thought. But I can't tell any of my friends that I'm not sad because I'd be a pariah.

She was an older woman. We did like a neuropsych evaluation and I did a clinical interview and so forth. And I said, I think the reality is you're just OK. And she said, OK, that's what I thought. But I can't tell any of my friends that I'm not sad because I'd be a pariah.