Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

You know, say that's what she's avoiding. We each have to, you know, have a come to ourselves moment and be honest with ourselves about what it is we're avoiding. But if let's say that's the case and let's say she reaches out and she says, look, I don't want to do this. It seems really painful, but I miss you guys too. And so let's try going to dinner. And I will tell you, it's going to suck.

She is going to feel awful. And she is going to be reminded of him the whole time. And she is going to think, I never want to do that again. And then when she does it again, it's still going to suck. But maybe she also has a conversation with her friend about a book she hadn't heard of. And she thinks, well, maybe I'll get that book.

She is going to feel awful. And she is going to be reminded of him the whole time. And she is going to think, I never want to do that again. And then when she does it again, it's still going to suck. But maybe she also has a conversation with her friend about a book she hadn't heard of. And she thinks, well, maybe I'll get that book.

She is going to feel awful. And she is going to be reminded of him the whole time. And she is going to think, I never want to do that again. And then when she does it again, it's still going to suck. But maybe she also has a conversation with her friend about a book she hadn't heard of. And she thinks, well, maybe I'll get that book.

And then there's this slow upward spiral, right, with the support of the people around us where we start to figure out what is life like with this person not on this earthly plane? How do I do things? You do the things first. The motivation, the good feelings, they come much later.

And then there's this slow upward spiral, right, with the support of the people around us where we start to figure out what is life like with this person not on this earthly plane? How do I do things? You do the things first. The motivation, the good feelings, they come much later.

And then there's this slow upward spiral, right, with the support of the people around us where we start to figure out what is life like with this person not on this earthly plane? How do I do things? You do the things first. The motivation, the good feelings, they come much later.

I know. They lied. They lied. They lied.

I know. They lied. They lied. They lied.

I know. They lied. They lied. They lied.

They lied.

They lied.

They lied.

It's just a rough feeling.

It's just a rough feeling.

It's just a rough feeling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hmm. I think that it's a mystery. Why does it work this way? Except that it helps us to be more resilient, right? I think there's a lot of things where around the time of the loss, we're very zoomed in. People feel guilty. I should have done this. Right.