Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

I think recently a lot about what is a good outcome. I've spent a lot of time in my career thinking, what is a bad outcome when we're grieving? And how might we most help people who are not integrating this in a way that's allowing them to restore a meaningful life? But And I've shied away a lot from the question of what is a good outcome because I think it has a normative quality to it.

But I've started thinking about it in a very open way. So the first thing I would say is I really don't think of it as addiction-like. So our need for our loved ones, much like food and water, is this homeostatic process, right? You think, oh, you know, like I'm visiting you, right, for this podcast.

But I've started thinking about it in a very open way. So the first thing I would say is I really don't think of it as addiction-like. So our need for our loved ones, much like food and water, is this homeostatic process, right? You think, oh, you know, like I'm visiting you, right, for this podcast.

But I've started thinking about it in a very open way. So the first thing I would say is I really don't think of it as addiction-like. So our need for our loved ones, much like food and water, is this homeostatic process, right? You think, oh, you know, like I'm visiting you, right, for this podcast.

And at some point, there's some push notification in my brain that says, you should text your partner, right? And I pull out my phone and I text him and I wait for a few minutes. And then he responds and I get that little, oh, he's there. He knows where I am. We're good. That's not an addiction, right?

And at some point, there's some push notification in my brain that says, you should text your partner, right? And I pull out my phone and I text him and I wait for a few minutes. And then he responds and I get that little, oh, he's there. He knows where I am. We're good. That's not an addiction, right?

And at some point, there's some push notification in my brain that says, you should text your partner, right? And I pull out my phone and I text him and I wait for a few minutes. And then he responds and I get that little, oh, he's there. He knows where I am. We're good. That's not an addiction, right?

That is the normal homeostatic process, just like I also got up and ate breakfast because I knew that I needed that, right? So I think with addiction, the problem is those drugs of abuse override exactly these circuits. that work in a homeostatic way.

That is the normal homeostatic process, just like I also got up and ate breakfast because I knew that I needed that, right? So I think with addiction, the problem is those drugs of abuse override exactly these circuits. that work in a homeostatic way.

That is the normal homeostatic process, just like I also got up and ate breakfast because I knew that I needed that, right? So I think with addiction, the problem is those drugs of abuse override exactly these circuits. that work in a homeostatic way.

And by overriding them, they either pare down the number of receptors or mess with the affinity of the receptors in such a way that it really does narrow what's rewarding to only this drug, because only this drug can powerfully over- fill those receptors.

And by overriding them, they either pare down the number of receptors or mess with the affinity of the receptors in such a way that it really does narrow what's rewarding to only this drug, because only this drug can powerfully over- fill those receptors.

And by overriding them, they either pare down the number of receptors or mess with the affinity of the receptors in such a way that it really does narrow what's rewarding to only this drug, because only this drug can powerfully over- fill those receptors.

And now we have a situation where only meth, right, is the thing that makes us feel better, but not quite the same with food, water, and living loved ones. To your question of, and I think you've actually really hit on something that our culture is really struggling with right now.

And now we have a situation where only meth, right, is the thing that makes us feel better, but not quite the same with food, water, and living loved ones. To your question of, and I think you've actually really hit on something that our culture is really struggling with right now.

And now we have a situation where only meth, right, is the thing that makes us feel better, but not quite the same with food, water, and living loved ones. To your question of, and I think you've actually really hit on something that our culture is really struggling with right now.

We've lost in our culture a lot of the grief literacy that was based around an understanding of what happens during bereavement, during mourning. That was very religiously focused, religiously oriented, right? So everything from sitting Shiva to having the mass after a year. Or awake. Or awake.

We've lost in our culture a lot of the grief literacy that was based around an understanding of what happens during bereavement, during mourning. That was very religiously focused, religiously oriented, right? So everything from sitting Shiva to having the mass after a year. Or awake. Or awake.

We've lost in our culture a lot of the grief literacy that was based around an understanding of what happens during bereavement, during mourning. That was very religiously focused, religiously oriented, right? So everything from sitting Shiva to having the mass after a year. Or awake. Or awake.

With the body right there. I've been to a wake.