Dr. Nicole LePera

So technology in general, I think, is not the issue per se, though learning how to be a conscious participant in technology, determining if you are using it for endless comparisons to feel bad about yourself, to validate that deep feeling of unworthiness.

So technology in general, I think, is not the issue per se, though learning how to be a conscious participant in technology, determining if you are using it for endless comparisons to feel bad about yourself, to validate that deep feeling of unworthiness.

If that's the reason you're using it, or using it to distract yourself from deeper things that are happening, then we don't have to shame the fact that that's what's happening right now. Oftentimes that's a learned habit. A lot of times it's aimed at protection.

If that's the reason you're using it, or using it to distract yourself from deeper things that are happening, then we don't have to shame the fact that that's what's happening right now. Oftentimes that's a learned habit. A lot of times it's aimed at protection.

We could begin to be a more conscious consumer, putting boundaries up for ourself, determining how we're maybe using technology and presenting ourself. When I hear loneliness, what I kind of translate that to is we desire authentic relationships.

We could begin to be a more conscious consumer, putting boundaries up for ourself, determining how we're maybe using technology and presenting ourself. When I hear loneliness, what I kind of translate that to is we desire authentic relationships.

And to get an authentic relationship, there has to be authenticity that we're giving out to attract the type of relationship that we want, not the mask that we think is keeping us protected.

And to get an authentic relationship, there has to be authenticity that we're giving out to attract the type of relationship that we want, not the mask that we think is keeping us protected.

I think it's really important to normalize not knowing. Because again, I think this is another area as we get older in years, we criticize and shame ourselves for questioning who it is that we could be, for coming to the awareness that we don't know what we think, what we want, what we need. And I think that that's another area.

I think it's really important to normalize not knowing. Because again, I think this is another area as we get older in years, we criticize and shame ourselves for questioning who it is that we could be, for coming to the awareness that we don't know what we think, what we want, what we need. And I think that that's another area.

And even going back to what you were saying, I'm really happy you clarified that. If we're not being who we are in all of these different circumstances, unconsciously what we're doing is continuing to validate that belief that we can't be who we are. We gather friends, we put ourselves out there in all these situations, and if we're still not feeling that connection that we're desiring...

And even going back to what you were saying, I'm really happy you clarified that. If we're not being who we are in all of these different circumstances, unconsciously what we're doing is continuing to validate that belief that we can't be who we are. We gather friends, we put ourselves out there in all these situations, and if we're still not feeling that connection that we're desiring...

The only way that our subconscious mind is going to make sense of it is, oh, because this is continued confirmation that I'm not worthy. So the practical is to become aware, not first of what we want or what we need or even being able to make choices in that direction, is to becoming aware of what are our habits? How are we showing up? How do we think we have to show up for other people?

The only way that our subconscious mind is going to make sense of it is, oh, because this is continued confirmation that I'm not worthy. So the practical is to become aware, not first of what we want or what we need or even being able to make choices in that direction, is to becoming aware of what are our habits? How are we showing up? How do we think we have to show up for other people?

What is the role that we're playing in our relationships?

What is the role that we're playing in our relationships?

Because until we see in action what it is that we're doing, all of the moments where we're instinctually saying yes when we mean no, we're not even pausing to check in, just showing up as many of us do as the caretaker, always in service of someone else, maybe even thinking that that's what selflessness or love is.

Because until we see in action what it is that we're doing, all of the moments where we're instinctually saying yes when we mean no, we're not even pausing to check in, just showing up as many of us do as the caretaker, always in service of someone else, maybe even thinking that that's what selflessness or love is.

We have to see in action the habits that are creating the dynamics that we're playing in our relationships or that are keeping our focus away from the most foundational relationship, which is with ourselves. And then in those moments where we see ourself instinctually going to play that role, hitting pause, delaying the conversation or the response, and giving ourself time and space.

We have to see in action the habits that are creating the dynamics that we're playing in our relationships or that are keeping our focus away from the most foundational relationship, which is with ourselves. And then in those moments where we see ourself instinctually going to play that role, hitting pause, delaying the conversation or the response, and giving ourself time and space.