Dr. Nicole LePera

What's mapping on to that stress response, because that's what we're talking about here, whether you're in the fight or flight with that amplified energy or the kind of shut down state, the other end of that spectrum.

In our mind, and I'm sure some of us very much relate to this, it looks like urgent, overwhelming, all or nothing, black and white.

You're always, you're never type thinking.

Those are really great markers.

Again, when the reaction is immediate, urgent, all or nothing in body and in mind.

We don't feel like we can even stop, right, our body's reaction in those moments.

Those are great cues that what's happening is emotional flooding and even tying it back to the concept of our inner child is reacting in that moment, which is why oftentimes the reaction we're having outwardly, the screaming, yelling, saying something we don't want, taking our, you know, toys and going to our own sandbox or not speaking, giving the silent treatment, fine.

feels a bit, I mean this developmentally, immature.

Because quite literally it was formed at a time where the only thing we could do was lash out before someone else struck us.

The only thing we could do was run away from the situation or flee in our mind through imagination.

The only thing we could do was shut down and not say anything trying to make us invisible.

Because in that flooded moment, again, neurologically or physiologically speaking, the chemicals, the stress response is reacting.

And then the habit is often grounded at an earlier time where we didn't have different capacities, which is my goal, right, is to tune into those moments beginning in our body so that we can learn how to regulate our stress response, not only through daily habits, but practices in the moment.

So that we can regain choice because in those moments we become locked and loaded.

Our body and those old habits are going to dictate what happens next, not our mature, rational mind.

So I often get asked some version of this question, especially for listeners maybe who are not able, much like myself, to even recall what happened in childhood to even map onto, right, why am I?

What happened to create this very familiar way that I am that it feels like it's almost just how I've always been and how I'm meant to be forever?

Because if you've ever heard me share, I can recollect very little of my childhood.

I'm intentionally using that word because the memory of my childhood lived in this very neurotic, very kind of achievement driven person.

So to change, we don't necessarily need to know what created it or even believe, so to speak, that it's not who we always are and are meant to be.