Dr. Nicole LePera

to gather our thoughts even, to explore even as we were talking about earlier, to get curious about who we are, what we want, what we think, how we feel.

to gather our thoughts even, to explore even as we were talking about earlier, to get curious about who we are, what we want, what we think, how we feel.

Therapy can be a very beautiful space to engage that curiosity with a listener who can listen, who isn't going to swoop in and give you their opinion immediately and giving you then the opportunity to have that self-reflection, which I think is incredibly, it's the first step of change.

Therapy can be a very beautiful space to engage that curiosity with a listener who can listen, who isn't going to swoop in and give you their opinion immediately and giving you then the opportunity to have that self-reflection, which I think is incredibly, it's the first step of change.

I'm going to answer this in a little bit of a cheeky way first, and then I'll give some a little bit practical things. I have yet to meet an adult who isn't in some way carrying some of the wounding of generations that came before us.

I'm going to answer this in a little bit of a cheeky way first, and then I'll give some a little bit practical things. I have yet to meet an adult who isn't in some way carrying some of the wounding of generations that came before us.

I've yet to meet, for many different reasons, very few of us have had that safe, secure, connected, curious, attuned, soothing relationship from a grounded, safe, secure, connected, soothing, or a person who is able to self-regulate in their early childhood. So I think the large majority of us are carrying, and I wouldn't, you know, messed up, effed up, whatever you want to call it.

I've yet to meet, for many different reasons, very few of us have had that safe, secure, connected, curious, attuned, soothing relationship from a grounded, safe, secure, connected, soothing, or a person who is able to self-regulate in their early childhood. So I think the large majority of us are carrying, and I wouldn't, you know, messed up, effed up, whatever you want to call it.

Human is, I think, a better way to think about it. We're carrying the remnants of all of those who came before us wired into our mind and body. I think in terms of relationship, if we want to apply this. because we are relational creatures, a lot of our messed upness can be seen in our relationships.

Human is, I think, a better way to think about it. We're carrying the remnants of all of those who came before us wired into our mind and body. I think in terms of relationship, if we want to apply this. because we are relational creatures, a lot of our messed upness can be seen in our relationships.

I think if you notice yourself feeling numb, feeling disconnected, or maybe on the other side of that, saying and doing hurtful things that you don't mean, I think those are indicators. I think another indicator, finding yourself chasing unavailable people in friendships, in romantic partnerships, or on the other side of it, bouncing from relationship to relationship yourself.

I think if you notice yourself feeling numb, feeling disconnected, or maybe on the other side of that, saying and doing hurtful things that you don't mean, I think those are indicators. I think another indicator, finding yourself chasing unavailable people in friendships, in romantic partnerships, or on the other side of it, bouncing from relationship to relationship yourself.

If you notice yourself regularly shutting down or withdrawing in relationship or when you're around other people or on the other side of that, repeating cycles of chaotic or intense behaviors or experiences, I think a common one that we think is passion. I have these high explosive arguments, crazy feeling arguments, and then this passionate makeup sex afterward.

If you notice yourself regularly shutting down or withdrawing in relationship or when you're around other people or on the other side of that, repeating cycles of chaotic or intense behaviors or experiences, I think a common one that we think is passion. I have these high explosive arguments, crazy feeling arguments, and then this passionate makeup sex afterward.

I think secure, grounded connection is secure, calm. It's grounded. And I think another thing, indicator that often we see in relationships is if we self-sabotage them, if we push people away as I had done for many years when we really one at them close.

I think secure, grounded connection is secure, calm. It's grounded. And I think another thing, indicator that often we see in relationships is if we self-sabotage them, if we push people away as I had done for many years when we really one at them close.

Or on the other side of that, if we struggle with any distance or space in relationships and feel responsible for someone else's needs like the caretaker I was describing earlier or responsible for someone else's emotions as I played many, many occasions in my past relationships. I think relationships is a great place to realize what our dysfunctional patterns are.

Or on the other side of that, if we struggle with any distance or space in relationships and feel responsible for someone else's needs like the caretaker I was describing earlier or responsible for someone else's emotions as I played many, many occasions in my past relationships. I think relationships is a great place to realize what our dysfunctional patterns are.

I wouldn't say that that's an indicator that we're messed up in any way. I think that's just an indicator of what we learned in our earliest relationships. And then we can create change in all of those respects.

I wouldn't say that that's an indicator that we're messed up in any way. I think that's just an indicator of what we learned in our earliest relationships. And then we can create change in all of those respects.