Dr. Nicole LePera

Though again, I think it really comes down to we're not equipped, many of us as adults, even to have difficult conversations.

Though again, I think it really comes down to we're not equipped, many of us as adults, even to have difficult conversations.

And I think just to kind of while the reality for a lot of listeners will be those habits still remain. We still find ourselves mid-silent treatment. Maybe you're listening to this and you're giving someone a silent treatment right now. What could be the greatest gift is intentionally taking the moment to reconnect, to say and acknowledge what was going on for you.

And I think just to kind of while the reality for a lot of listeners will be those habits still remain. We still find ourselves mid-silent treatment. Maybe you're listening to this and you're giving someone a silent treatment right now. What could be the greatest gift is intentionally taking the moment to reconnect, to say and acknowledge what was going on for you.

Hey, I was really overwhelmed by what happened. I was really upset or dysregulated by the experience. And I did remove myself from our interaction or our relationship. Though it had everything to do with how I was feeling. And I think that can be the most healing, especially if it's our children that we're giving the silent treatment to.

Hey, I was really overwhelmed by what happened. I was really upset or dysregulated by the experience. And I did remove myself from our interaction or our relationship. Though it had everything to do with how I was feeling. And I think that can be the most healing, especially if it's our children that we're giving the silent treatment to.

Or on the other end of that, saying the things that we don't mean, the hurtful things or doing the hurtful things. Just as equally having the moment on the other side to acknowledge where it came from and relieving that person the responsibility of them being the cause or their worthiness being the cause.

Or on the other end of that, saying the things that we don't mean, the hurtful things or doing the hurtful things. Just as equally having the moment on the other side to acknowledge where it came from and relieving that person the responsibility of them being the cause or their worthiness being the cause.

So going back and celebrating awareness, you'll always hear me break down change, ending a relationship that hurts us, down into two steps. Becoming aware of the habit that's not serving us, the relationship that's hurting us, step one.

So going back and celebrating awareness, you'll always hear me break down change, ending a relationship that hurts us, down into two steps. Becoming aware of the habit that's not serving us, the relationship that's hurting us, step one.

Step two, making the new choices, which often, as we began the conversation, include foundationally our body and all of those deep-rooted beliefs that live in our body. All of the reasons why not to leave.

Step two, making the new choices, which often, as we began the conversation, include foundationally our body and all of those deep-rooted beliefs that live in our body. All of the reasons why not to leave.

All of that fear as if it's happening in real time right now and upset and rejection and abandonment and whatever it is and shame that we felt in childhood that created the habit of staying with people who hurt us. All of that is wired into us.

All of that fear as if it's happening in real time right now and upset and rejection and abandonment and whatever it is and shame that we felt in childhood that created the habit of staying with people who hurt us. All of that is wired into us.

And this was the biggest transformation in the practice as I began, which was realizing that all of the insight in the world, we could be like, oh, I'm aware that people hurt us or that this person is hurting me. We could have the very well-meaning support system that are shouting the red flags from the rafters and saying, hey girl, you got to get out of this. This is hurting you.

And this was the biggest transformation in the practice as I began, which was realizing that all of the insight in the world, we could be like, oh, I'm aware that people hurt us or that this person is hurting me. We could have the very well-meaning support system that are shouting the red flags from the rafters and saying, hey girl, you got to get out of this. This is hurting you.

I can't, I'm hurting watching you hurt. And until we understand that that won't build that bridge, that we have to make new choices that are very difficult, that are living in acknowledgement of the hurt.

I can't, I'm hurting watching you hurt. And until we understand that that won't build that bridge, that we have to make new choices that are very difficult, that are living in acknowledgement of the hurt.

that include new boundaries, that include walking in then to the unknown of how will this person react if I do create a boundary, if I do remove myself from the relationship depending on the nature of the hurt. What will that mean about me? What will that mean about my future in relationships? And entertaining the reality of all of the feelings that we learned it meant.

that include new boundaries, that include walking in then to the unknown of how will this person react if I do create a boundary, if I do remove myself from the relationship depending on the nature of the hurt. What will that mean about me? What will that mean about my future in relationships? And entertaining the reality of all of the feelings that we learned it meant.