Dr. Paul Conti

So if we're just thinking about it and we're thinking in the same way we sort of, in a sense, always think about it, then all we're doing is reinforcing the trauma, right?

But if we can distance enough, then we can think in ways that allow us to have new thoughts.

that we weren't having.

It's not just bouncing around in our minds.

And if we speak or write, there are even more mechanisms that come online in our brains that are then sort of monitoring mechanisms.

We think in a different way if we're using words.

are better able often to bring in that observing ego, like what's going on inside of me.

So it can be very helpful to think, it can be helpful to talk to someone, to a trusted other, friend, family, clergy, to write.

I mean, these are things that can be done without expending any resources.

And sometimes if the symptoms are significant enough, like we really do need to talk to somebody professional who can help us get to the root of the trauma.

If you look at what are the top 10 important factors to find in a therapist, just repeat rapport 10 times.

It's trust.

It's a back and forth.

It's like, yeah, even though I'm doing something difficult, I'm doing it with someone who's really helping me.

Someone who's in it with me, right?

Someone who's really paying attention, wants me to be better.

that's indispensable.

I think that good therapists are not pigeonholed by a certain modality.

They may come at the world largely through a psychodynamic or a CBT or a DBT lens.

There's lots of different ways to do therapy.