Dr Paul Eastwick

And so, you know, people end up, you know, you kind of get sick.

So it's really a mess for people.

And that is tied to these attachment processes because people don't have the sense to the same extent that there's somebody who's got their back and

they kind of fall apart.

And this is why I'm always tempted to tell people like, if you've got friends going through a breakup and they're going to want to go through the story with you five, 10 times, like you don't really want to hear it again, but it sure is kind to listen to them an extra time.

Cause remember, it's not just that they've had a bad thing happen.

They've also lost their support structure that would have helped them with other bad things.

Yeah.

I mean, there are a few things people can do.

One thing is to form another relationship.

It's kind of cliche, but this one's kind of true.

When people form relationships, they kind of get over the prior one.

I'm not commenting on the wisdom of relationships.

repeatedly forming relationships without taking any time off for yourself.

In fact, there is evidence that the longer time people have between relationships, the happier the next one will be.

These are small effects, but they're real.

Another thing that really matters for people, though, is having support in other people and forming a coherent story about what happened.

And it really just matters that that story is coherent.

Maybe that story is your ex is a jackass.

Maybe that story is like you're going to do better next time.