Dr Paul Eastwick

If we expect people to knock us out right away, if we're expecting to be absolutely swept off our feet at moment one, that just doesn't cater to a lot of people's strengths.

But again, I sound like an old man, but like the old ways used to allow for this.

When we got to meet people organically through everyday life, it gave more people a chance.

And that's kind of the thing I want to remind people of.

I am really trying not to be that guy.

OK, so that's one quick thing, which is that even when people meet for the first time.

OK, and this I'm getting from speed dating.

The power of consensus is about as strong, if anything, a little weaker than the power of compatibility.

So even if we're if we're meeting, OK, we're at least meeting face to face.

So things like speed dating, things like parties.

There's a lot of compatibility there.

And it's going to be way better than dating online.

So even if we're trapped in these modern urban environments where there are a lot of people around and a lot of competition, at least start by meeting people face-to-face rather than just the swiping.

I would just add that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think so.

And I think, you know, like we're talking about, I do think online dating exacerbates that inequality.

But I think that now if we're talking about like theory, what's the story of human mating?

The story, I mean, as I've understood it since the 90s, was really about like, well, you sort of do the best you can.