Dr. Ramani Durvasula

And in that structure, people don't want the relationship to go away. They want it to improve. And they're like, well, there are these good... How can we make it so it's all good days, right? It's not all bad. So they start blaming themselves. The person in the relationship blames themselves.

Maybe if I do this, maybe if I say it this way, maybe if I don't say it this way, maybe if I try this, maybe if I keep the house perfectly clean, maybe if I make sure everyone's happy at the holiday, maybe if I stay late every night at work, whatever it is, the person starts taking on more and more responsibility. Maybe if I'm quieter, maybe if I don't complain.

Maybe if I do this, maybe if I say it this way, maybe if I don't say it this way, maybe if I try this, maybe if I keep the house perfectly clean, maybe if I make sure everyone's happy at the holiday, maybe if I stay late every night at work, whatever it is, the person starts taking on more and more responsibility. Maybe if I'm quieter, maybe if I don't complain.

Maybe if I do this, maybe if I say it this way, maybe if I don't say it this way, maybe if I try this, maybe if I keep the house perfectly clean, maybe if I make sure everyone's happy at the holiday, maybe if I stay late every night at work, whatever it is, the person starts taking on more and more responsibility. Maybe if I'm quieter, maybe if I don't complain.

By the time we get to 10% good, 90% bad, people are really stuck. But now they're really trauma bonded. They can't figure out what's going on. This is where the confusion becomes a real issue. And other challenges, narcissistic people tend to treat those closest to them, spouses, children, maybe people who are sort of don't have as much power in the workplace as them in the workplace.

By the time we get to 10% good, 90% bad, people are really stuck. But now they're really trauma bonded. They can't figure out what's going on. This is where the confusion becomes a real issue. And other challenges, narcissistic people tend to treat those closest to them, spouses, children, maybe people who are sort of don't have as much power in the workplace as them in the workplace.

By the time we get to 10% good, 90% bad, people are really stuck. But now they're really trauma bonded. They can't figure out what's going on. This is where the confusion becomes a real issue. And other challenges, narcissistic people tend to treat those closest to them, spouses, children, maybe people who are sort of don't have as much power in the workplace as them in the workplace.

What you'll see is that they'll treat them the worst. So the world is still seeing the charming, charismatic, compelling person. You're so lucky to be married to them. Oh my gosh, your father's amazing. And the person's like, oh my gosh, it's got to be me. It's not you. It's got to be me because everyone thinks they're great.

What you'll see is that they'll treat them the worst. So the world is still seeing the charming, charismatic, compelling person. You're so lucky to be married to them. Oh my gosh, your father's amazing. And the person's like, oh my gosh, it's got to be me. It's not you. It's got to be me because everyone thinks they're great.

What you'll see is that they'll treat them the worst. So the world is still seeing the charming, charismatic, compelling person. You're so lucky to be married to them. Oh my gosh, your father's amazing. And the person's like, oh my gosh, it's got to be me. It's not you. It's got to be me because everyone thinks they're great.

And so, and then people will also say they almost feel physiologically stuck to the narcissistic person because it is so confusing. And lots of folks will say intellectually, I know this isn't good for me at this point, but physiologically I'm struggling. I feel a sense of panic at the idea of getting out.

And so, and then people will also say they almost feel physiologically stuck to the narcissistic person because it is so confusing. And lots of folks will say intellectually, I know this isn't good for me at this point, but physiologically I'm struggling. I feel a sense of panic at the idea of getting out.

And so, and then people will also say they almost feel physiologically stuck to the narcissistic person because it is so confusing. And lots of folks will say intellectually, I know this isn't good for me at this point, but physiologically I'm struggling. I feel a sense of panic at the idea of getting out.

And it's really kind of a slot machine sequence because after a person's put $500 into a slot machine, maybe they've won a hundred back. You still can't get them to walk away. Why? Why don't people walk away from slot machines?

And it's really kind of a slot machine sequence because after a person's put $500 into a slot machine, maybe they've won a hundred back. You still can't get them to walk away. Why? Why don't people walk away from slot machines?

And it's really kind of a slot machine sequence because after a person's put $500 into a slot machine, maybe they've won a hundred back. You still can't get them to walk away. Why? Why don't people walk away from slot machines?

They're holding out for the million dollars. They still think it's going to come, right? 500 in, they're starting to use their ATM card, take the money out. That's the psychological equivalent of giving up on yourself, right? So I'm going to keep getting more money out. I'm going to keep playing this. So people don't want to walk away because they might hit the jackpot.

They're holding out for the million dollars. They still think it's going to come, right? 500 in, they're starting to use their ATM card, take the money out. That's the psychological equivalent of giving up on yourself, right? So I'm going to keep getting more money out. I'm going to keep playing this. So people don't want to walk away because they might hit the jackpot.

They're holding out for the million dollars. They still think it's going to come, right? 500 in, they're starting to use their ATM card, take the money out. That's the psychological equivalent of giving up on yourself, right? So I'm going to keep getting more money out. I'm going to keep playing this. So people don't want to walk away because they might hit the jackpot.

But there's a second reason people don't walk away from the slot machine. What is that? After they've been paying it for four hours, put hundreds of dollars in it. Maybe they've won a hundred bucks back. They're 400 in the hole. Why don't they walk away?