Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

I think one of the things we see these days, because there's a growing awareness now of our emotions, you talk about it on your show all the time, there's many people talking about this in public. I think what's happened is that for some people, They go to, oh, I get it now. This is why I'm the way I am. This is because of my mom or my dad. This is how I was brought up.

And they stay there and then they start to blame their parents. And I think that's unhelpful. Maybe you have to go through that, but you can't stay there. At some point you have to come out the other side and go, okay, I've now learned why I have these triggers and reactions. Now let me move to the next part where I process them and move on.

And they stay there and then they start to blame their parents. And I think that's unhelpful. Maybe you have to go through that, but you can't stay there. At some point you have to come out the other side and go, okay, I've now learned why I have these triggers and reactions. Now let me move to the next part where I process them and move on.

And I'll tell you a very simple technique that's helped me, Larissa. I don't know if it will help others, but it certainly has helped me is a few years ago, I chose to take on the belief. And again, I use those words carefully. I chose, I don't have to take on this belief, but I've chosen to take on this belief in life.

And I'll tell you a very simple technique that's helped me, Larissa. I don't know if it will help others, but it certainly has helped me is a few years ago, I chose to take on the belief. And again, I use those words carefully. I chose, I don't have to take on this belief, but I've chosen to take on this belief in life.

I believe that every single person is doing the best that they can based upon their experiences. And so let me just elaborate on that a little bit, because it can be quite triggering for people that. I choose to believe that if I was that other person, I'd be behaving in exactly the same way as them. Why?

I believe that every single person is doing the best that they can based upon their experiences. And so let me just elaborate on that a little bit, because it can be quite triggering for people that. I choose to believe that if I was that other person, I'd be behaving in exactly the same way as them. Why?

Because if I was that person with their parents and the bullying they had as a child and the friends and the influences they had when they were growing up and the toxic boss they had when they were 17 or whatever it might be, if I had their life, I'd probably be thinking and acting in exactly the same way as them. Now, it doesn't mean I'm saying that what they're doing is right.

Because if I was that person with their parents and the bullying they had as a child and the friends and the influences they had when they were growing up and the toxic boss they had when they were 17 or whatever it might be, if I had their life, I'd probably be thinking and acting in exactly the same way as them. Now, it doesn't mean I'm saying that what they're doing is right.

I'm not saying that. But once you adopt that approach to life, like you can feel this inner calm, Lewis, because your initial way of interacting with life is with compassion. It's trying to understand why is this person behaving that way? Now, it doesn't mean it's easy and it doesn't mean that what they're doing is not abhorrent or wrong.

I'm not saying that. But once you adopt that approach to life, like you can feel this inner calm, Lewis, because your initial way of interacting with life is with compassion. It's trying to understand why is this person behaving that way? Now, it doesn't mean it's easy and it doesn't mean that what they're doing is not abhorrent or wrong.

But I choose to take that approach to life and it's really, really helped me because now my first instinct, if someone's attacking me online, if something's happening, if someone disagrees with me, my first instinct now, because I've trained it for years is, oh, I wonder why they think so differently to me.

But I choose to take that approach to life and it's really, really helped me because now my first instinct, if someone's attacking me online, if something's happening, if someone disagrees with me, my first instinct now, because I've trained it for years is, oh, I wonder why they think so differently to me.

And you just don't generate all this internal stress that affects people in the first place. And once you start interacting with life like that, I think forgiveness becomes a lot easier because then you're like, oh, if I was that person, I'd be doing the same as them. Oh, their dad cheated. They grew up seeing that. It doesn't make it right, but I think it makes it easier.

And you just don't generate all this internal stress that affects people in the first place. And once you start interacting with life like that, I think forgiveness becomes a lot easier because then you're like, oh, if I was that person, I'd be doing the same as them. Oh, their dad cheated. They grew up seeing that. It doesn't make it right, but I think it makes it easier.

And again, do you know when I learned that the most, right? Have you heard of John McAvoy?

And again, do you know when I learned that the most, right? Have you heard of John McAvoy?

No, no. So John McAvoy, I had a wonderful conversation with him on my podcast about five years ago, Lewis. You would love talking to him, I promise you. He used to be one of Britain's most wanted criminals. Wow. Right. So he was locked up in Europe's highest security prison with two life sentences. Right. With all the terrorists, he was locked up there. And he got out. He got out. Wow.

No, no. So John McAvoy, I had a wonderful conversation with him on my podcast about five years ago, Lewis. You would love talking to him, I promise you. He used to be one of Britain's most wanted criminals. Wow. Right. So he was locked up in Europe's highest security prison with two life sentences. Right. With all the terrorists, he was locked up there. And he got out. He got out. Wow.

And he's like, he's one of the loveliest people I know. Right. I would leave him alone with my children. Right. I think he's the most wonderful person. But I spoke to him for two hours and he went through his life story with me. And he told me about his upbringing, that his dad wasn't around. And that the only male figures in his life were armed robbers. And they came rounds.