Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

My mum's like 84, 85, right?

It's not my identity that I'm the only person who is going to be here and responsible for everything, right? With my dad, I made it my identity. It was who I was. My dad being well was a reflection of who I was as a human being, right? I would do everything. If dad wasn't well, I'd done something wrong. I was going to go and fix it.

It's not my identity that I'm the only person who is going to be here and responsible for everything, right? With my dad, I made it my identity. It was who I was. My dad being well was a reflection of who I was as a human being, right? I would do everything. If dad wasn't well, I'd done something wrong. I was going to go and fix it.

It's not my identity that I'm the only person who is going to be here and responsible for everything, right? With my dad, I made it my identity. It was who I was. My dad being well was a reflection of who I was as a human being, right? I would do everything. If dad wasn't well, I'd done something wrong. I was going to go and fix it.

That creates so much inner torture when you see yourself like that. And as... You know, you just read out. No one expected that. Like that was a story I created inside my own head. Was it real?

That creates so much inner torture when you see yourself like that. And as... You know, you just read out. No one expected that. Like that was a story I created inside my own head. Was it real?

That creates so much inner torture when you see yourself like that. And as... You know, you just read out. No one expected that. Like that was a story I created inside my own head. Was it real?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not dissimilar in some ways. I mean, when I read the letter theory, one of the things I find really powerful about it is is the separation between me and the other person, but in a really beautiful way, not a separation that I don't care. In your book, Mel, you write about how it's okay for other people to feel their emotions and feel disappointed.

It's not dissimilar in some ways. I mean, when I read the letter theory, one of the things I find really powerful about it is is the separation between me and the other person, but in a really beautiful way, not a separation that I don't care. In your book, Mel, you write about how it's okay for other people to feel their emotions and feel disappointed.

It's not dissimilar in some ways. I mean, when I read the letter theory, one of the things I find really powerful about it is is the separation between me and the other person, but in a really beautiful way, not a separation that I don't care. In your book, Mel, you write about how it's okay for other people to feel their emotions and feel disappointed.

And you can apply the same principle here, Mel, where if the cost, and this was the cost, if the cost of looking after my dad meant that it was gonna impact my ability to be a good father and a good husband, that's a cost I wasn't aware that I was paying. But now I know, now to be really clear, I have a great relationship with my kids. I'm happily married, it's just past 17 years recently, okay?

And you can apply the same principle here, Mel, where if the cost, and this was the cost, if the cost of looking after my dad meant that it was gonna impact my ability to be a good father and a good husband, that's a cost I wasn't aware that I was paying. But now I know, now to be really clear, I have a great relationship with my kids. I'm happily married, it's just past 17 years recently, okay?

And you can apply the same principle here, Mel, where if the cost, and this was the cost, if the cost of looking after my dad meant that it was gonna impact my ability to be a good father and a good husband, that's a cost I wasn't aware that I was paying. But now I know, now to be really clear, I have a great relationship with my kids. I'm happily married, it's just past 17 years recently, okay?

Things are great. But I've learned from that, and now with my mom, who I love just as much as my dad, I'm not falling into the same traps.

Things are great. But I've learned from that, and now with my mom, who I love just as much as my dad, I'm not falling into the same traps.

Things are great. But I've learned from that, and now with my mom, who I love just as much as my dad, I'm not falling into the same traps.

This is so key, Mel. Exactly. And that's why I brought up your book, right? Because it's a key theme that I got from that book that I think totally applies here. I couldn't tolerate something, you know, me or someone not being there for my dad to meet his every needs, right? But it's ridiculous. It's utterly ridiculous, right?