Dr. Rhonda Barofsky

But now she's suddenly kind of been born again, and she says, I've been telling myself I can't do it. Now I'm telling myself I can do it. So stay tuned, and we'll get some follow-up from this very wonderful person. But I thought that that... Give-get imbalance would be a kind of a nice concept to bring to our listeners because there are several reasons people get into a give-get imbalance.

But now she's suddenly kind of been born again, and she says, I've been telling myself I can't do it. Now I'm telling myself I can do it. So stay tuned, and we'll get some follow-up from this very wonderful person. But I thought that that... Give-get imbalance would be a kind of a nice concept to bring to our listeners because there are several reasons people get into a give-get imbalance.

And what are some of them, Rhonda and Matt? What are the characteristics of a person who gets into a give-get imbalance? And then secondly, what's the cure?

And what are some of them, Rhonda and Matt? What are the characteristics of a person who gets into a give-get imbalance? And then secondly, what's the cure?

Yeah. And it makes you feel good to say yes, because then the other person appreciates you and praises you and makes you feel special. Uh, right.

Yeah. And it makes you feel good to say yes, because then the other person appreciates you and praises you and makes you feel special. Uh, right.

Yeah. And, uh, But then you don't get, typically you don't get anything much, if anything, in return. And another reason people get into it is people might say, oh, can you do this activity with us? And then you get to thinking, oh, I don't want to miss out on the fun. I've got to go along with this and, you know, go to this activity or go to that activity.

Yeah. And, uh, But then you don't get, typically you don't get anything much, if anything, in return. And another reason people get into it is people might say, oh, can you do this activity with us? And then you get to thinking, oh, I don't want to miss out on the fun. I've got to go along with this and, you know, go to this activity or go to that activity.

And then the solution to it is what one of the feared fantasy techniques called no practice. You remember that one, Rhonda and Matt? No, I don't remember that. You don't? Matt, we're going to do a special recording tonight because Rhonda works late and I work late. And then we're going to do a special podcast recording tonight at 830. And we'd really like you to join us. Can you do that?

And then the solution to it is what one of the feared fantasy techniques called no practice. You remember that one, Rhonda and Matt? No, I don't remember that. You don't? Matt, we're going to do a special recording tonight because Rhonda works late and I work late. And then we're going to do a special podcast recording tonight at 830. And we'd really like you to join us. Can you do that?

But if you cared about us, you'd help us out. I mean, you've helped us out so many other times.

But if you cared about us, you'd help us out. I mean, you've helped us out so many other times.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, well, that's no practice. It's a bit funny, but it's a good technique to practice saying no and have somebody try to talk you into something and just be kind and persistent in saying no. And that's one of the solutions to a give-get imbalance. And it's also based on the Buddhist notion or perhaps also the Christian notion or perhaps also the Jewish notion. I don't know the...

Okay, well, that's no practice. It's a bit funny, but it's a good technique to practice saying no and have somebody try to talk you into something and just be kind and persistent in saying no. And that's one of the solutions to a give-get imbalance. And it's also based on the Buddhist notion or perhaps also the Christian notion or perhaps also the Jewish notion. I don't know the...

the mysticism behind all the different religions, but that we're all one. And the idea that you can make another person happy while making yourself miserable is not valid to my way of thinking, and that we either go up or down together. And so if you're making yourself miserable in order to please or serve some other person, you're probably not making them happy either.

the mysticism behind all the different religions, but that we're all one. And the idea that you can make another person happy while making yourself miserable is not valid to my way of thinking, and that we either go up or down together. And so if you're making yourself miserable in order to please or serve some other person, you're probably not making them happy either.

And sometimes becoming assertive and sticking up for yourself a little bit in a dignified and loving but persistent way can actually lead to greater happiness for the other person in the long run as well, because you are not going to be carrying all this resentment and burned outness. So that's my little sermon for today, for whatever it's worth.

And sometimes becoming assertive and sticking up for yourself a little bit in a dignified and loving but persistent way can actually lead to greater happiness for the other person in the long run as well, because you are not going to be carrying all this resentment and burned outness. So that's my little sermon for today, for whatever it's worth.