Dr. Robyn Koslowitz

Not only will your damage not damage your kids, but your damage can be the catalyst for you to break the cycle, right?

Your damage can actually make you into a better parent.

You're not flawed.

In some ways, you're uniquely qualified to parent because you know what your values are.

I'm great.

I'm so excited to be here.

So it was a TEDx event.

I've been applying to give a TEDx talk for about five years.

And because I really have this big idea worth spreading about trauma and how it impacts us.

And I've been applying and applying and getting no after no after no.

I don't know if you're familiar with that idea of rejection therapy, where you just like look for rejections as a way of inoculating yourself against them hurting.

Because rejection actually activates the same pain sensors in our brain that

that stubbing your toe does or falling down a flight of stairs does.

So it's painful.

And I've been applying and applying and had some heartbreaking last minute no's.

One event that actually accepted me as a speaker, they then canceled the event because one of the organizers got very sick.

So that was very disappointing.

I'm sad for her, but it was also very disappointing.

And then I had other events where I was through three rounds of interviews before I got the no.

So it was hard and it takes a lot to keep applying, even though you get no's.