Dr. Robyn Koslowitz

And what she really wanted was her kids to feel the sense of safety someone feels when they go into a well-run organized home where, you know, there's always going to be dinner on the table at the same time, like that there's routine healthcare, the sense that the parents are in charge of keeping you safe and

And so we just then went backwards from that.

What would be those ingredients?

And she had this one foster family as a model.

And she was like, I want it to be like that foster family.

I was there really short, but like it felt so homey.

I would come home and there was a smell of cooking and she would say, all right, now we're going to do our homework and then we're going to eat dinner and then we're going to do our chores.

And then we're going to go to bed.

And it sounds crazy, but having to do chores made me feel taken care of.

Like a grownup was telling me what to do.

And I didn't just have to figure out myself how to pay the mortgage so we don't get evicted.

And I'm eight years old.

This is great.

I want my kids to feel that.

So we worked on that.

There might be another mom who has the opposite.

My home was so authoritarian and strict and rigid.

I want my kids to feel like they can breathe in this house.

And like, I don't want meals to be at the same time every night.

I want it to feel like we're coming together for dinner because we like each other.