Dr. Robyn Koslowitz

In that situation, you want to put your psychological resources into your kids, but you're putting them into your family of origin, your ex-spouse, whatever it is instead.

Maybe it's a divorce, right?

But like you're tangled up in something else.

Then there's the disengaged parent.

And that's somebody who...

Deep down feels like my damage is so sharp.

It will definitely damage my kids.

So let me stay away.

So they might outsource their parenting.

They might dissociate like I do.

They might become a workaholic, but they're really, they might be drinking to take the edge off because their edges just feel very sharp.

But really deep, deep, deep down, they feel so damaged that let me stay away from my kids.

I'm going to do this wrong.

Like when I have a parent who calls me and says, my kid's going to camp.

I think someone needs to give them the body safety talk.

And can you do it for me?

I will mess it up.

Or they'll go to the youth pastor to do that.

They'll just outsource everything they can because I will mess up.

And the kid just feels so lonely because all they want is the parent's presence.