Dr. Ryan Martin

And if they don't, if they let me down, that slows me down and I don't like it, right? And so- It's – this is something I actually deal with relatively often too. I get an idea in my head. That idea is reliant on other people doing their job in a particular way. And I think to myself they should be able to get that done by whatever day. And then they don't.

And if they don't, if they let me down, that slows me down and I don't like it, right? And so- It's – this is something I actually deal with relatively often too. I get an idea in my head. That idea is reliant on other people doing their job in a particular way. And I think to myself they should be able to get that done by whatever day. And then they don't.

And if they don't, if they let me down, that slows me down and I don't like it, right? And so- It's – this is something I actually deal with relatively often too. I get an idea in my head. That idea is reliant on other people doing their job in a particular way. And I think to myself they should be able to get that done by whatever day. And then they don't.

And in fairness to them, it's because they've got other stuff they're doing, right?

And in fairness to them, it's because they've got other stuff they're doing, right?

And in fairness to them, it's because they've got other stuff they're doing, right?

Yeah, totally. Yeah, it makes sense that they don't or that things don't go a certain way. It's just like in certain moments it's tough for me – it's tough for me to notice that. It's like, that's not what I'm thinking. But that for sure is a big trigger for me, I notice, is unrealistic expectations. So, and I'm sure I'm not the only person that deals with this type of thing.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, it makes sense that they don't or that things don't go a certain way. It's just like in certain moments it's tough for me – it's tough for me to notice that. It's like, that's not what I'm thinking. But that for sure is a big trigger for me, I notice, is unrealistic expectations. So, and I'm sure I'm not the only person that deals with this type of thing.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, it makes sense that they don't or that things don't go a certain way. It's just like in certain moments it's tough for me – it's tough for me to notice that. It's like, that's not what I'm thinking. But that for sure is a big trigger for me, I notice, is unrealistic expectations. So, and I'm sure I'm not the only person that deals with this type of thing.

Yeah, so why do people get mad, like, or get angry in any given moment? Kind of like, is it... Is there a real science behind it?

Yeah, so why do people get mad, like, or get angry in any given moment? Kind of like, is it... Is there a real science behind it?

Yeah, so why do people get mad, like, or get angry in any given moment? Kind of like, is it... Is there a real science behind it?

Yep. And this is the stuff I study. So why people get angry in a particular moment is usually a confluence of three things. So there's a trigger. There's the thing that happened. And I encourage people to be really specific about what that thing is. So driving down the street, yellow light in front of you. You think you can make it. Car in front of you stops, though. So now you've got to stop.

Yep. And this is the stuff I study. So why people get angry in a particular moment is usually a confluence of three things. So there's a trigger. There's the thing that happened. And I encourage people to be really specific about what that thing is. So driving down the street, yellow light in front of you. You think you can make it. Car in front of you stops, though. So now you've got to stop.

Yep. And this is the stuff I study. So why people get angry in a particular moment is usually a confluence of three things. So there's a trigger. There's the thing that happened. And I encourage people to be really specific about what that thing is. So driving down the street, yellow light in front of you. You think you can make it. Car in front of you stops, though. So now you've got to stop.

So that's the trigger. Then there is your mood at the time of that trigger. So are you stressed? Are you fatigued? Are you already angry about something? Are you anxious? Whatever. Are you too warm or too cold, physically uncomfortable, hungry? All those things make it more likely that you're going to respond with anger in that moment. And then there's how you interpret that behavior.

So that's the trigger. Then there is your mood at the time of that trigger. So are you stressed? Are you fatigued? Are you already angry about something? Are you anxious? Whatever. Are you too warm or too cold, physically uncomfortable, hungry? All those things make it more likely that you're going to respond with anger in that moment. And then there's how you interpret that behavior.

So that's the trigger. Then there is your mood at the time of that trigger. So are you stressed? Are you fatigued? Are you already angry about something? Are you anxious? Whatever. Are you too warm or too cold, physically uncomfortable, hungry? All those things make it more likely that you're going to respond with anger in that moment. And then there's how you interpret that behavior.

And this is where those expectations come in. So do I interpret this person as – do I look at this and say, oh, this is going to ruin my day. Now I'm going to be late to work. I'm not going to get done what I need to get done. do you interpret it as, oh, that idiot, why did they slow down, right? And so do you label them in that sort of negative way? You totally could have made that, man.

And this is where those expectations come in. So do I interpret this person as – do I look at this and say, oh, this is going to ruin my day. Now I'm going to be late to work. I'm not going to get done what I need to get done. do you interpret it as, oh, that idiot, why did they slow down, right? And so do you label them in that sort of negative way? You totally could have made that, man.