Dr. Ryan Martin

Well, I think it's about what I like to call proactive emotion management. So it's saying, okay, I'm anticipating that this situation is going to go badly. What are some things that I can do now to prevent it from going the way I think it could go? And so that might be, hey, let's give people the benefit of the doubt.

That might be going into the situation and saying, let's not assume that they're going to do and say the worst thing. Let's go into that situation. Maybe I minimize my contact with them. Yeah, it's Thanksgiving, but I don't have to be in the same room with this person the entire night. And I can minimize how often I talk to them. Maybe it's you and your partner who you're at the event with.

That might be going into the situation and saying, let's not assume that they're going to do and say the worst thing. Let's go into that situation. Maybe I minimize my contact with them. Yeah, it's Thanksgiving, but I don't have to be in the same room with this person the entire night. And I can minimize how often I talk to them. Maybe it's you and your partner who you're at the event with.

That might be going into the situation and saying, let's not assume that they're going to do and say the worst thing. Let's go into that situation. Maybe I minimize my contact with them. Yeah, it's Thanksgiving, but I don't have to be in the same room with this person the entire night. And I can minimize how often I talk to them. Maybe it's you and your partner who you're at the event with.

You have like a safe word, right? When you're getting frustrated that some signal that you can do to send them a message saying like, hey- Get me out of this.

You have like a safe word, right? When you're getting frustrated that some signal that you can do to send them a message saying like, hey- Get me out of this.

You have like a safe word, right? When you're getting frustrated that some signal that you can do to send them a message saying like, hey- Get me out of this.

Right.

Right.

Right.

I mean, there's there's all these things we can do. It's just we have to be thoughtful about it in advance. And I think a lot of times we're not thoughtful about it.

I mean, there's there's all these things we can do. It's just we have to be thoughtful about it in advance. And I think a lot of times we're not thoughtful about it.

I mean, there's there's all these things we can do. It's just we have to be thoughtful about it in advance. And I think a lot of times we're not thoughtful about it.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll struggle. I know sometimes like if I know like sometimes I can cut myself off and I'd be like, hey, go introduce yourself in the beginning instead of keeping an air where it's like. You have something in your head. Because I'm in recovery, and so I'll have a lot of things. Like I'll build a world in my head that's not really going on in the world around me.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll struggle. I know sometimes like if I know like sometimes I can cut myself off and I'd be like, hey, go introduce yourself in the beginning instead of keeping an air where it's like. You have something in your head. Because I'm in recovery, and so I'll have a lot of things. Like I'll build a world in my head that's not really going on in the world around me.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll struggle. I know sometimes like if I know like sometimes I can cut myself off and I'd be like, hey, go introduce yourself in the beginning instead of keeping an air where it's like. You have something in your head. Because I'm in recovery, and so I'll have a lot of things. Like I'll build a world in my head that's not really going on in the world around me.

And so sometimes some of those things I can cut off. Like, hey, go say, hey, how's things going? That way you've already created the first space of communication. It's been cool. Everything is good. Then if they do say something, sometimes if you're expecting somebody to say a certain thing, it doesn't really land on you the same way. Yeah.

And so sometimes some of those things I can cut off. Like, hey, go say, hey, how's things going? That way you've already created the first space of communication. It's been cool. Everything is good. Then if they do say something, sometimes if you're expecting somebody to say a certain thing, it doesn't really land on you the same way. Yeah.

And so sometimes some of those things I can cut off. Like, hey, go say, hey, how's things going? That way you've already created the first space of communication. It's been cool. Everything is good. Then if they do say something, sometimes if you're expecting somebody to say a certain thing, it doesn't really land on you the same way. Yeah.

A lot of times for me it is I'll keep myself away from people if I know I'm agitated. So that's one of the things I think you said of just being able to prepare a little bit. But then it's like sometimes it's like that isolation builds on my own agitation because I'm always just kind of in my own world process and stuff.