Dr. Ryan Martin

Like what?

Like what's an example of that?

night.

Yeah, so the mantra I use, and one of the things I really encourage people to do is put a lot of thought into what their mantra is.

But the mantra I use is do the next right thing.

And that is my way of giving myself some grace for the fact that I may have made mistakes in the past, but acknowledging that I'm always trying to do the right thing.

And when I face a negative experience, I can remind myself, okay, this is your moment to do whatever is the right thing.

Yeah, so the name we use for that a lot of times is catastrophizing.

And it's when we just blow things way out of proportion.

And one of the first things, and I will tell you, I do think there's something to be said for people just needing a moment to spiral.

And that's maybe OK, especially if you've sort of got the benefit of time on your side to sort of run through that.

I actually think one of the things we sometimes do with people in our lives when they're spiraling or when they're catastrophizing is we try to tell them too quickly, OK, calm down, relax.

It's not that bad.

And all of that feels really minimizing.

And so I think it's okay to just take a moment to sort of let that spiral as long as you can pull it back in relatively quickly.

And once you've had that moment, I think that's when you start to potentially ask yourself two questions.

The first question is, how bad is this really?

And once you're in a little bit more reasonable frame of mind, you can start to ask yourself, like, truly, what are the very real consequences of this?

And then start to think through almost like a checklist of, okay, it's going to mean this, it's going to mean this, and it's going to mean this.

The other thing you can do is start to ask yourself, how can I mitigate those consequences?