Dr. Shadé Zahrai

So we avoid the word shoulds and we move to coulds.

Research has found that when you use the word could instead of should, it opens up divergent thinking.

Sometimes when I look at some of this research, I think, how is something this simple so incredibly powerful?

And it's because words create worlds inside us and outside of us.

So you shift to could, you grab a piece of paper and you split it into two columns.

On the left, you write your I could list.

What are all the things that you could do in the current circumstances?

Whether you've just been laid off from your job, whether your business failed, whether your relationship has broken down.

What are all the things you could do right now?

That allows you to feel a sense of, okay, there are opportunities, there are possibilities here.

You're also directing your attention, which reduces that emotion activation, re-engages your prefrontal regions.

Next step, what will you do?

Circle three things from your could-do list and write them in your will-do list, and you write, I will, bang, bang, bang, and then you take action.

You're hijacking...

That ruminative part of your brain and gearing yourself towards action, reminding yourself that no matter how bad things are, you always have a choice and you are choosing to take a step forward.

So we shared all of this with Bruno and we had to go through this long process.

But for Bruno, there was something else that was really affecting him.

And it was this contamination story he was telling.

He kept telling people and himself, my life is so difficult.

It's always been so difficult.