Dr. Shadé Zahrai

But studies have found that the real power comes not in changing the history, but in changing the meaning that you have applied to that, what it means for you, how you've interpreted it.

And you can edit your story at any point in time, which is the most beautiful thing.

And this is a process that I actually take people through in the book and Bruno's stories in there to work through it.

Because a big part of it is, okay, great, we know this, but how do you do it?

And that's essentially why I wanted to write this book, to help people have this guide to step by step work through these processes to strengthen these attributes.

And when you can do that for autonomy, you suddenly feel more personally powerful.

Completely.

Or everything's out to get us.

Yes.

Your attention is on the wrong thing.

because it's easier to do that.

It's much harder to focus on what we can control because then we feel empowered and we have to do something about it.

Remember the brain?

The brain likes certainty and it wants to use the least amount of effort possible.

And if it gets you to focus on everything outside of your control, you're not using your prefrontal regions, which require a lot of metabolic energy.

And so great, it's easier for the brain.

We go down these habit paths of overthinking and catastrophizing and then we don't have to do anything about it.

We don't have to take the step into discomfort.

We don't have to risk the rejection or the criticism by trying the thing.

There's this beautiful analogy of a cow and a bison.