Dr. Shadé Zahrai
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
That's the key phrase for someone who lacks acceptance.
I'm not enough.
So I must prove that I'm enough.
I must earn that feeling from other people.
I must chase it through achievement.
The moment you notice that, consciously re-engage the prefrontal part of your brain.
This is how you re-engage attention and say to yourself, hold on, I don't need to believe that thought.
I don't need to believe that belief.
Remind yourself that I have value.
I am of value.
And one of the simplest hacks that you can use in those moments is to stop thinking about yourself.
I know that sounds really odd to say, but when we are suffering with a lack of self-acceptance, it's always I, me, my.
How do they see me?
How am I coming across?
What am I doing right now?
If you can shift and go, okay, how can I be here for them?
How can I be of value?
How can I be of service?
How can I make this person feel seen?
That's called self-forgetting.