Dr. Shadé Zahrai

Next one, agency.

I can improve my skills.

I can go work for an organization that values the skills that I already have.

I can learn what I need to.

Autonomy.

What am I going to focus on right now to keep moving forward?

And then that adaptability, what else do I need to do to make sure that my emotions are in check?

And a lot of it is reframing.

So instead of saying, I am anxious,

Because remember, this idea of labeling, anything that comes after I am, we internalize.

It feels like it's fixed.

Instead of I am anxious, I'm noticing a thought that I'm feeling anxious because this thing happened.

Identify the stimulus.

Instead of I am a failure, I'm noticing a thought that's telling me I'm a failure because I just lost my job.

You're creating what's called cognitive diffusion, separating yourself from the thought, reminding you you don't have to believe everything you think.

Which also reminds you, you don't have to believe everything that your mind tells you to.

And that can be really powerful.

My mom always encouraged me, if you want it, ask for it.

So I asked my husband to marry me.

Did you?