Dr. Sharon Saline
speaker
1,074 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2019
last heard Aug 2024
Dr. Sharon Saline’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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that parents and kids were missing each other's signals, that kids weren't, you know, sharing or feeling understood by their parents for what it was like to live with ADHD or what their experiences were like.
And parents were frustrated that they weren't able to help their children in the ways that they had desired.
So this book came out of my my real interest in trying to create better better communication, better collaboration, and ultimately more happiness in families living with ADHD.
Absolutely.
Well I interviewed dozens of kids with ADHD and of course I've had many years of working with um kids and families.
And so what I gleaned from all of this experience is that there were essentially five categories of things.
that kids wanted their parents and other adults, other caring adults, educators, coaches, mentors, et cetera, to know about them.
So the first thing was that they don't like
when parents lose their temper or when um they themselves feel out of control.
It's uncomfortable for them.
When they're sort of riled up or worked up and their parent is equally, if not more, um agitated, it's it's extremely disconcerting because there's no way that they can regulate themselves without help or without an adult who's also dysregulated.
And so that kind of led to the first C, which is self control.
you manage yourself first so you can act effectively and teach your child with ADHD to do the same.
The second theme was that kids with ADHD want to feel understood and forgiven, even if they don't understand themselves or why they do things.
And this is really important because what this talks about is the second C compassion, that we meet our our kids where they are, not where we expect them to be.
And this lies at the heart of a positive parent child alliance.
And and it's important for kids because they're trying, you know, part of the the the task of development is figuring out who you are, where you belong, what you want to do with your life.
And so they really need to feel like the adults are holding them in a space of of feeling understood, even even when they're questioning themselves, that that there's some solidity to that.
The third issue was that kids want their opinions about what might help them and what makes sense to them to be considered.
And this is the third C, which is collaboration.
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