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Dr. Sunita Sah

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
988 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

I was like, wow, that's so impressive. She's actually really strong and she can be defiant when she needs to be.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

If I can do it with the upbringing I had, I think most people can learn how to defy. It's just you have to learn that skill set. You have to get out. So if you're talking about neurological I was rewarded for being compliant. That's when the neural pathways start to form like obedience. It becomes our default. We start equating obedience with being good, compliance with being good.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

If I can do it with the upbringing I had, I think most people can learn how to defy. It's just you have to learn that skill set. You have to get out. So if you're talking about neurological I was rewarded for being compliant. That's when the neural pathways start to form like obedience. It becomes our default. We start equating obedience with being good, compliance with being good.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

If I can do it with the upbringing I had, I think most people can learn how to defy. It's just you have to learn that skill set. You have to get out. So if you're talking about neurological I was rewarded for being compliant. That's when the neural pathways start to form like obedience. It becomes our default. We start equating obedience with being good, compliance with being good.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

Absolutely. So we become what I call wire to comply, right? It becomes the default without thinking. Somebody says to do something, we go along and we do it. And so that's really powerful socialization, the messages that we get to obey, to be polite, you know, don't make a scene, don't question authority, listen to them.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

Absolutely. So we become what I call wire to comply, right? It becomes the default without thinking. Somebody says to do something, we go along and we do it. And so that's really powerful socialization, the messages that we get to obey, to be polite, you know, don't make a scene, don't question authority, listen to them.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

Absolutely. So we become what I call wire to comply, right? It becomes the default without thinking. Somebody says to do something, we go along and we do it. And so that's really powerful socialization, the messages that we get to obey, to be polite, you know, don't make a scene, don't question authority, listen to them.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

And that makes a difference to the rest of our lives in a way and our default setting. But if we think about situations where we learn how to defy We need to really practice so we can change that default setting. The more that we practice, the more those other pathways start to strengthen. For example, I have these five stages of defiance.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

And that makes a difference to the rest of our lives in a way and our default setting. But if we think about situations where we learn how to defy We need to really practice so we can change that default setting. The more that we practice, the more those other pathways start to strengthen. For example, I have these five stages of defiance.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

And that makes a difference to the rest of our lives in a way and our default setting. But if we think about situations where we learn how to defy We need to really practice so we can change that default setting. The more that we practice, the more those other pathways start to strengthen. For example, I have these five stages of defiance.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

So the first one, like usually when we're in a situation where we want to defy or we think we should, we feel some kind of tension. So our body immediately tells us we don't think this is quite right. So I felt it with a CT scan. I'm sure you've been in situations where you felt like, oh, I don't know about that. Yeah. And so often we just ignore it. We think it's not worth our doubt. Exactly.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

So the first one, like usually when we're in a situation where we want to defy or we think we should, we feel some kind of tension. So our body immediately tells us we don't think this is quite right. So I felt it with a CT scan. I'm sure you've been in situations where you felt like, oh, I don't know about that. Yeah. And so often we just ignore it. We think it's not worth our doubt. Exactly.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

So the first one, like usually when we're in a situation where we want to defy or we think we should, we feel some kind of tension. So our body immediately tells us we don't think this is quite right. So I felt it with a CT scan. I'm sure you've been in situations where you felt like, oh, I don't know about that. Yeah. And so often we just ignore it. We think it's not worth our doubt. Exactly.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

And we probably have our own signs, right? People will probably feel it differently. Maybe for some people it's a headache. Maybe for some people it's their throat constricting. Maybe it's feeling butterflies. So we all have a sign that comes up. And then the second stage is to acknowledge that rather than disregard it is to admit it to yourself, right? I'm feeling something.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

And we probably have our own signs, right? People will probably feel it differently. Maybe for some people it's a headache. Maybe for some people it's their throat constricting. Maybe it's feeling butterflies. So we all have a sign that comes up. And then the second stage is to acknowledge that rather than disregard it is to admit it to yourself, right? I'm feeling something.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

And we probably have our own signs, right? People will probably feel it differently. Maybe for some people it's a headache. Maybe for some people it's their throat constricting. Maybe it's feeling butterflies. So we all have a sign that comes up. And then the second stage is to acknowledge that rather than disregard it is to admit it to yourself, right? I'm feeling something.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Sunita Sah (on defiance)

Yeah, avoid it. And that's a shame because it's a warning sign. And if we actually listen to it, it could help us because we just need to like, why am I feeling this way? What does it actually mean? I felt it with a CT scan and I was like, OK, but it actually got worse as I carried on having the CT scan. It didn't go away.