Dylan Mulvaney

I've had some really interesting conversations, I think especially with women who are like, oh no, I love being a woman and I love being in my body and I've always felt, and that's actually really affirming to hear as a trans person because I had this response to my physical self growing up that felt so wrong and now what I'm experiencing

feels a lot more parallel to that of the conversations I've had with women, cis women saying, oh no, this feels great for me.

And I'm like, oh, now I feel that way too.

Took a long time to get there though.

Well, I think what's interesting is like I'm four years into my transition.

Still got, you know, hopefully a lifetime to go.

But I still find myself like wildly comparing myself to the women around me, especially like – Oh, that's being a woman.

Well, yes, but what's wild is like doing this Broadway show and I'm looking at all these girls in the mirror that were, you know, on stage together and most of them are like five feet.

I'm five eight and we all are wearing heels.

So I look like Big Ben towering over them.

And and like I clock myself and I'll be like, Dylan, why are you thinking that?

Like, like.

Like, you have every right to be amongst these women in this setting and on this stage wearing the same costumes.

Like, I think I have to remember that it's going to be a way better show if I feel confident up there.

And knowing none of those women are judging me the way that I'm judging myself is –

is what I need to just focus on.

But it's really hard, I think, especially when we're people that are so often in environments where it's based on comparison or being on camera or being a performer.

And because I literally feel myself trying to shrug on stage so that I look a little bit shorter or that I look, you know, and I'm like, fuck that.

Yeah.

Like, why don't I put my shoulders back and why don't I own this?