Elena Brower

Yeah.

It would have been a real gift.

I've been asking my dad now, my mom passed about 10 years ago, but I've been asking my dad lots of questions and I'm getting stories that I don't actually really want to know, you know, but I'm getting some really beautiful ones and some details that I wouldn't have known.

And,

Back to my mom, you know, I wish I could talk to her right now, and sometimes I feel like I can, but I wish she were still around so I could ask her a few questions.

Agreed.

What a great question.

Thank you.

Selfishly, I leave that shift every time so psyched to be alive, so thankful for my health, for my family.

I think the most satisfying aspect, though, is definitely watching someone who's in active dying or someone who's... Right now I'm with a woman who's not quite...

you know, actively dying yet, but she's got a disease that's very degenerative, is acting quickly.

Just watching them feel loved and feel seen is so satisfying.

And knowing that that's possible to offer that to somebody wholeheartedly.

Yeah.

It's just one of those moments in life that you can't really put a label on.

It's like watching incense curl up in the Zendo, or watching your kids smile and look at you in a certain way that you really are seeing each other.

It's not quantifiable, and it's one of the most satisfying parts of the work.

Just seeing someone feel a little more comfortable than they were a moment before because you are sitting there, because you are asking the right question or just being quiet, sitting, holding their hand.

I feel so different than I was in New York for the book launch, which was a couple months ago.

And I was walking on the streets.