Elena

And at this point in second grade, he had already come to despise her.

Literally. That's crazy.

Literally. That's crazy.

Like, that's sad. Yeah, that's very sad. He spent most of his time trying to avoid her in second grade at seven years old. And like, you know, a lot of young people, these early life experiences are eventually going to kind of mingle within, like, your adult experiences, and they're going to create certain things. Yeah. You know, fetishes, certain fears, certain...

Like, that's sad. Yeah, that's very sad. He spent most of his time trying to avoid her in second grade at seven years old. And like, you know, a lot of young people, these early life experiences are eventually going to kind of mingle within, like, your adult experiences, and they're going to create certain things. Yeah. You know, fetishes, certain fears, certain...

Things that you're attracted to, like things that repulse you. Your early childhood really does have a lot to do with that. They call them your formative years. Exactly. It's like where you're developing is like such a huge part of you. And it's like that's where we all end up being in fucking therapy and finding out these random things that you're like, fuck, that's where that comes from.

Things that you're attracted to, like things that repulse you. Your early childhood really does have a lot to do with that. They call them your formative years. Exactly. It's like where you're developing is like such a huge part of you. And it's like that's where we all end up being in fucking therapy and finding out these random things that you're like, fuck, that's where that comes from.

Yeah. Yes, and a lot of it is trauma-based. A lot of it is negative-based. Of course, there's those core memories that form great things later in life.

Yeah. Yes, and a lot of it is trauma-based. A lot of it is negative-based. Of course, there's those core memories that form great things later in life.

Yeah, and things that you love and make you happy and things, you know, your career. Hobbies. Hobbies. But these negative things really make their mark, unfortunately. And the poor relationship with his very abusive mother and feelings of abandonment, you know, those kind of things would lead to negative opinions about women in general as he grew older.

Yeah, and things that you love and make you happy and things, you know, your career. Hobbies. Hobbies. But these negative things really make their mark, unfortunately. And the poor relationship with his very abusive mother and feelings of abandonment, you know, those kind of things would lead to negative opinions about women in general as he grew older.

Yes.

Yes.

Because that's just like their first experience with a woman.

Because that's just like their first experience with a woman.

Yeah. I feel like an almost... blips a lot with girls where if you have a poor relationship with your father you end up trying to seek out yes almost that without realizing it yes like you you end up finding men that are like that you know and not necessarily punishing them for it but almost receiving the punishment over and over yourself i was gonna say exactly punishing yourself yeah it's

Yeah. I feel like an almost... blips a lot with girls where if you have a poor relationship with your father you end up trying to seek out yes almost that without realizing it yes like you you end up finding men that are like that you know and not necessarily punishing them for it but almost receiving the punishment over and over yourself i was gonna say exactly punishing yourself yeah it's

Yeah. Psychology is wild. It really is. And so as he grew older, his opinions about women were dog shit. And also the secrecy around his fascination with women's shoes because he never grew out of that. It stayed. And what he felt was like taboo excitement about them that he would get from them and It kept growing and growing, and that would be fine. A fetish is a fetish. A kink is a kink.

Yeah. Psychology is wild. It really is. And so as he grew older, his opinions about women were dog shit. And also the secrecy around his fascination with women's shoes because he never grew out of that. It stayed. And what he felt was like taboo excitement about them that he would get from them and It kept growing and growing, and that would be fine. A fetish is a fetish. A kink is a kink.

Nobody's here to shame anybody about that. What you like is what you like. You shouldn't feel ashamed about it unless it's hurting someone. And the problem here was it took a sinister turn. Yeah. Because... He wasn't just keeping these secret for his own well-being. He was keeping it secret because he was taught to. And he was taught that it was wrong.