Elisabeth McKay

And very frequently in my work with Break Method, I work with a lot of women who eventually realize that,

All of this that we're talking about is actually why their relationship is toxic.

And when they can learn to take ownership of that and show up differently, they actually find that plot to us.

They've actually been married to a partner who's actually lovely and sweet and wants to meet their needs, but the other person is constantly setting them up to fail.

So if this is you, take note.

This can be fixed and the likelihood that you are inaccurately projecting onto your partner, not in all cases, but often, is highly likely.

Emotional dysregulation is also going to very much damage discernment.

So your ability to accurately assess what's happening, why something's happening becomes completely incapacitated.

Most of what you would jump to in assumption is going to be very far from the truth and extremely skewed or distorted.

And when this is happening, it's going to be really hard for you to experience peace in your life.

It's going to be hard to operate from wisdom or self-control.

Everything's going to become very retaliatory, very much rooted in emotional response, which just muddies the waters of everything.

And very infrequently from this place are you trying to collaborate and co-reconcile reality with somebody else.

You are trying to double down on your distorted perception.

And if you go back to the episode on Darvo, it is very common that a person like this would project onto the other person that they are acting out Darvo when they are actively trying to get the person to collaborate and co-reconcile reality because they don't want their narrative in any way pushed or fractured because it feels unsafe because ultimately this deeper wound is about scarcity and not feeling like they will be loved or chosen.

if you can come face to face with that.

you can actually heal.

But if you allow your brain to project onto something else and blame shift, you'll stay stuck forever.

And your relationships, by the way, will continue to stay toxic.

You'll go from one toxic relationship to the other.