Ellen Hendriksen

Like, what does Coach Wooden do to make this team just hit it out of the park every time? To mix my metaphors. And what they discovered is that he very seldom raised or criticized his players. And that instead, as a former high school teacher, he did exactly that. He taught. He told you what to do and how to do it. So he would say things like, pass from the chest. Run, don't walk.

Take lots of shots where you might get them in games. Pass the ball to someone short. He was focused on information, not evaluation. And so we can take a page from that book. We can take the stance of a sculptor eyeing a block of marble and say, okay, what would be better for the work? What would be better for this task or this thing I'm doing?

Take lots of shots where you might get them in games. Pass the ball to someone short. He was focused on information, not evaluation. And so we can take a page from that book. We can take the stance of a sculptor eyeing a block of marble and say, okay, what would be better for the work? What would be better for this task or this thing I'm doing?

Take lots of shots where you might get them in games. Pass the ball to someone short. He was focused on information, not evaluation. And so we can take a page from that book. We can take the stance of a sculptor eyeing a block of marble and say, okay, what would be better for the work? What would be better for this task or this thing I'm doing?

And that can help us try to separate out our performance from our very character. If we shift the focus from evaluating ourselves, like, you know, I'm so stupid, to focusing on how to make the work better, like pass the ball to someone short. For example, I had a client who was a conservatory student. She was a violin major. And she would just mercilessly criticize herself in the practice room.

And that can help us try to separate out our performance from our very character. If we shift the focus from evaluating ourselves, like, you know, I'm so stupid, to focusing on how to make the work better, like pass the ball to someone short. For example, I had a client who was a conservatory student. She was a violin major. And she would just mercilessly criticize herself in the practice room.

And that can help us try to separate out our performance from our very character. If we shift the focus from evaluating ourselves, like, you know, I'm so stupid, to focusing on how to make the work better, like pass the ball to someone short. For example, I had a client who was a conservatory student. She was a violin major. And she would just mercilessly criticize herself in the practice room.

She'd say things like, oh, why are you so stupid? Why can't you get this? And so we tried to shift her over to focusing on the music and to say things like, okay, maybe I can try this slower. Maybe I can do this one measure at a time. It was about the work, not about her.

She'd say things like, oh, why are you so stupid? Why can't you get this? And so we tried to shift her over to focusing on the music and to say things like, okay, maybe I can try this slower. Maybe I can do this one measure at a time. It was about the work, not about her.

She'd say things like, oh, why are you so stupid? Why can't you get this? And so we tried to shift her over to focusing on the music and to say things like, okay, maybe I can try this slower. Maybe I can do this one measure at a time. It was about the work, not about her.

It certainly can be hard, but you don't have to completely separate this. We're not doing a 180. Just a little bit of being able to see our performance at a perspective, like 5%, 10% is really all we need.

It certainly can be hard, but you don't have to completely separate this. We're not doing a 180. Just a little bit of being able to see our performance at a perspective, like 5%, 10% is really all we need.

It certainly can be hard, but you don't have to completely separate this. We're not doing a 180. Just a little bit of being able to see our performance at a perspective, like 5%, 10% is really all we need.

Sure, yeah, I think we can take some of the eggs out of the proverbial basket of performance and leave some in there. Again, performance is important. I'm not saying it's not important or that we don't derive any of our self-image or self-worth from it, but we can distribute some of those eggs to things that are more qualitative, like connection. like enjoyment.

Sure, yeah, I think we can take some of the eggs out of the proverbial basket of performance and leave some in there. Again, performance is important. I'm not saying it's not important or that we don't derive any of our self-image or self-worth from it, but we can distribute some of those eggs to things that are more qualitative, like connection. like enjoyment.

Sure, yeah, I think we can take some of the eggs out of the proverbial basket of performance and leave some in there. Again, performance is important. I'm not saying it's not important or that we don't derive any of our self-image or self-worth from it, but we can distribute some of those eggs to things that are more qualitative, like connection. like enjoyment.

Like the people with perfectionism that I work with, often it's 110% all the time. And so I think the focus on perfectionism can sometimes edge out that we forget to connect with people. We forget to enjoy ourselves. We focus so exclusively on the performance. So for instance, maybe if we're part of a karate dojo, we only focus on working our way through the success of belts. We forget to

Like the people with perfectionism that I work with, often it's 110% all the time. And so I think the focus on perfectionism can sometimes edge out that we forget to connect with people. We forget to enjoy ourselves. We focus so exclusively on the performance. So for instance, maybe if we're part of a karate dojo, we only focus on working our way through the success of belts. We forget to

Like the people with perfectionism that I work with, often it's 110% all the time. And so I think the focus on perfectionism can sometimes edge out that we forget to connect with people. We forget to enjoy ourselves. We focus so exclusively on the performance. So for instance, maybe if we're part of a karate dojo, we only focus on working our way through the success of belts. We forget to

enjoy the camaraderie. We forget to enjoy the movement of our limbs or the joy of improving or learning new things. If we have spare time, we might think, okay, I need to always be productive. I should be watching a documentary. I should be reading history. And we forget that it's okay to... watch a grass out comedy or read a rom-com or just go hang out and connect with our friends.