Emilie Kiser

I mean, when we were first...

going through it.

And I was five weeks postpartum.

So I wasn't even in a headspace to get into a routine at all.

I was still trying to get used to having two kids.

My dad was actually who came to me and was like, Em, you got to move your body.

My stepmom actually teaches Pilates on the side and he would just have her come over and help me.

I would go on walks.

But even at that point,

Beginning when we first lost him, we weren't even leaving our house because we had people driving by, taking videos, helicopters going over our house.

News were showing up constantly.

I was basically just in my home and I didn't want to be anywhere else in terms of I just want to be in my bed at that time.

It felt impossible to get back into any sort of routine.

But then at some point, I think I felt like I don't have any other choice.

Like, I have to.

I have to be the best version of myself that I can manage right now for Trigg, for my younger son, Teddy, for myself, for Brady.

Like, I have to.

It's not a choice.

I think I've really...

mentally blocked out so much of that because I was just so focused on what we were dealing with inside of our home that my mind wasn't even really there.