Emma Chamberlain

It puts your brain in like a jumbled mess sort of state, right?

I know that.

You know that.

We all know that.

But because it's the lowest hanging fruit, in a moment of rest when there's space to do whatever you want to do, it can be tempting to just scroll unless you have a little bit of energy, a little bit of gas left in the tank to have discipline enough to not do that.

You know what I'm saying?

The paradox is I need discipline to rest properly.

I don't need a lot of discipline, but I need just a little discipline.

But because I'm in this perpetual state of burnout and exhaustion and guilt and shame,

By the time that I do allow myself to rest, I have nothing left in the tank, right?

Rest for me comes at a low point.

Like I have no choice.

It's like I have to rest right now.

Like I'm completely depleted.

But then because I'm completely depleted, I rest ineffectively because I don't have that little, little drop of discipline I need to rest effectively.

So then I rest ineffectively, which not only causes more guilt and shame because I know I'm doing the wrong thing,

But also then I come out of my phase of rest not feeling rested.

Then leading me to get back to work or whatever with like a tank that maybe has one drop of gas in it to like keep me going for the next two weeks or so until I then...

barely.

And then I hit another low point.